Senior Lifer Inmate Returns

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The Spiritual Set Up:

The past week I have been fretting about just what I should do regarding natural human conflict between two inmates who attend my Catholic Service.

Funny and Not Very Funny:

Can we laugh at ourselves and just how human were set up?  Funny but not so funny – one became upset with the other for engaging in a protracted debate / challenging my core perspective regarding Faith, Trust and Hope founded upon my religious belief in God, scripture and the Catholic perspective on Truth.

What Going On and On and On will Do!:

It was an argument, debate, long winded discussion some might find difficult to endure.  Well fact was on inmate stood up without saying a word and walked out.  This inmate did not return.

Time for a Deep Dive:

This particular incident caused my soul to search first for why the two inmates both felt strongly about the perspectives they held.  Further I wanted to know what I could or should have done to handle this situation better?

“Artificial Intelligence”

The good news for me was, I was able to listen without overly interrupting the inmate making a point about Artificial Intelligence and how repeatedly in the past human kind has been able to imagine concepts not possible at the time, yet over time became a reality.  Technology, cell phones, flight, outer space travel, electricity, medical advances, etc. etc.  Yes things that must have been considered at one point in history as impossible yet today we know conclusively those imagined possibilities are really real.

Why not AIT?  What’s so different?

Fundamental Truth?  AI is a machine not human and does not have a soul or real feelings or emotions!  It is simply a non living – electronic computer technology completely dependent up some flawed human being creating the hardware and software that can emulate ever so many human capabilities.  AI has an advantage over a single human being for it can access data and be programmed by multiples of human being with a multiplicity of human values programmed into a non living highly sophisticated embedded complex outcomes which over time will become more and more difficult to test the predicted outcome!

The Other Inmate had had enough – Body Language in Action:

Question is?  What is our tolerance capability and can we hear the spiritual question being asked hidden within a challenging debate?

The on and on debate Question hides the spiritual question! – Do our spiritual eyes and ears work?

As the dialogue went on as happens in time – how does one test such a machine and what standard will be used to measure the future outcomes / truth of results of AI?  The machine will not have a soul nor a conscientious – rather a growing multiplicity of human and perhaps other machine software programmers who may never ever to speak to one another about the purpose and validation of outputs!

Fast Back to the “In the Very Beginning”:

Will mankind treat such a machine as a God?  The temptation will be real as “In the beginning”!  Will the reality of human kinds original sin be factored in?  Ah ha!  The Ten Commandments!  Ah ha humankind’s nature to fall into temptation / desire to take ownership of the original “Tree of Knowledge” in the Garden.

A leap forward and simultaneously a leap backward to “in the beginning” – temptation!

Have I confused anyone yet?

Hey I know this is incomplete but I gotta take a break!

to be continued ………….

 

Suffering:

Suffering:

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Suffering:

What is the purpose of Suffering?? Many say Jesus suffering and death was payment for the sins of humanity necessary to open the door of salvation for sinners so human’s can gain access to heaven! This statement is true while also being incomplete!

Jesus himself called all of us to come follow me adding pick up your cross! Another way to say join our suffering to that of His sacrifice! Now that is a mouthful! Buried in His crucifixion is Hid non verbal message! Join your suffering to mine as testimony that others might be lead to the gate.

An intensified Search:

From my own experience of suffering I found the intensity of my search for meaning and understanding was magnified exponentially!  This trip through the valley of tears was necessary to open my spiritual eyes and ears to begin to see spiritual reality!  You were born for this day!

The Human Condition – God’s Design:

It is a prerequisite that our human condition the only potential doorway to connect oneself with the image and spirit of God within is real suffering! It is the place one can begin to find oneself, the purpose of their being and to begin to hear the call to find themselves and the purpose for which they were created!

Modern Man Thinks himself Smarter:

We are living in the modern era that could be defined as the “selfie” generation! I can be whatever I want to be and define myself rather recreate myself into any living entity I desire! Humans seek what the worldly images of “happiness” is as the primary emotional, imaginary and single focused source of being! The Spirit of the soul and the body become separated from the whole of truth. Science and biological truth are sacrificed at the altar of the newest religion!

A New Religion:

This new religion is leading the world rapidly down the road where “suffering” will become the only doorway – one can encounter the “narrow gate” Jesus spoke about as He hung on the cross!

Are you ready? Can you see it is on the near horizon and accelerating each day!

Hope:

There is however Hope! In Christ’s own words! “Come back to me – Turn around – with your whole mind, emotions, feelings, spirit, soul, mind and yes your body”!

This is Mable’s message to Chris and anyone with ears to hear!

30 + Years versus One soon to be Paroled:

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Went to prison yesterday.  Normal entry and normal delay for inmates to come!  Food for thought!  Almost every week a delay!  And just why do I persist?

Oh, something about I am the student – sent to proclaim the Good News and to listen to the spirit’s voice hidden is the message spoken and unspoken by men incarcerated.

Oh Oh – I am the Student!!:

One inmate has been in prison 30 plus years.  Lots of time to think!  He admits guilt in murder of another human being.  He regrets the impact of his frustration that lead to his crime!  Essentially a spear he could not see coming penetrated his spirit when his son committed suicide as a older teenager.

Perspective of Hope – Stubbornness of the Spirit:

Can you imagine 30 + years to reflect upon and study the teachings of the Catholic Church.  Simultaneously, ones human nature that landed him in prison clings to oneself and continues to cause him to challenge again and again truth no matter who!  Just happened to be me today!  Yes my each expressed thought!  Can any one make the leap to understand this same challenge plays out time and again within the prison when I am not present with other inmates?

A Pain – a Pain!  Get over yourself!:

So it was this day my question “how has it been going” lead to a conversation where seemingly every thought I expressed was challenged.  Could it be 30 years ever so little hope exists “of ever being set free” was driving the conversation?  A conversation that was upsetting to another inmate who recently received news “parole for multiple inmates was on the near horizon”.  I ask myself?  Are my ears working?  Am I off track?  New Hope came face to face with Hope frustrated!  Unspoken language speaks through body movement!  Absolutely no doubt – for sure something obviously had been triggered.

Oh Lord has my willingness to take the RISK to let people Speak an Error?

Was the difference I observed this day between the two inmates a spiritual attitude toward the hope of parole intensified by my willingness to take such a risk?  Did I observe the natural long existing conflict – yet not fully understood by either – between the inmates – seemingly obviously due to a long interaction between the two men.  A mouth full!

There I sat – the enabler: Guilty!

There I was essentially sitting in the middle enabling a discussion challenging my perspective of the future of Artificial Intelligence (AI) .  Yes I was being challenged to defend myself at every turn in regard to inanimate object (AI’s home) – a non-human machines ability to replicate and exceed a humans ability to reason.

A machine no matter how sophisticated does not have a soul – nor was it created in the image of God with free will!

The unspoken word speaks clearly!  Evidence – the inmate – a short timer – in his mind could not tolerate the lifer’s attitude in regard to his insistence to challenge my perspective

Sometimes the soul speaks through ones feet!  Yes the short-timer got up and walked out!

Wonder why I am writing this?

Did I tell you – in this ministry to prisoners – I have discovered the Spirit of the One who called me, reversed my role making me the student and teacher so I might travel through the valley that leads one to begin to better understand God’s complicated design of the nature of the Human person – where the soul can not escape the body!

Fact — This is not easy reality to digest and discern the truth.  Is it perhaps the valley one must pass through where the search for wisdom leads both teacher and student?

And where do I find a Human I can talk to who will not get up and leave?

Arms Length – Smell of Sheep

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Shepherd: Flock: So close: Takes on Smell:

The term used by Jesus to describe the leaders of the church was a Shepherd! Hmmm! Food for thought!! If one studies (perhaps even better lives with) what a “real” shepherd does, one learns a Shepherd spends so much time with the sheep, the shepherd takes on the smell of the sheep!
Seems to me that’s a lot of time among and exposure to real life human beings which has the potential to opening a doorway wide for the sheep to enter into the sacraments where the Shepherd seeks to lead the flock!

Take the Real Presence out into the Sheep’s grazing grounds:

Kinda the Shepherd’s task is to find ways to take the message, if you will the “real presence” out of the sacred place into the sheep’s grazing grounds!

Uncomfortable?

This might be a little -well maybe viewed as ohhh very uncomfortable for some Shepherd’s who might just encounter lost sheep including some who attend Mass every week!
Arms length might be a good description of one who is unable and unwilling to venture outside the sacred venues they have authority and essentially total control.

Arms Length – neither a “Yes” or “No”:

Arms length might be a good description of one who is unable and unwilling to venture outside the sacred venues they have authority and essentially total control.
This is not easy human reality! It’s just the reality of my journey! Arms length – neither a “yes” or a “no”!  Rather it is fear to enter into a relationship – and results in being non decisive!

A Gift I didn’t ask for:

Seems to me the good Lord gave me a gift I wasn’t shopping for!  Ten years with people suffering with HIV/AIDS fast forwarded facing the reality of death resulted in an immersion of myself into the world of sheep saying “I was born this way” – not understanding “in the beginning” they were exactly born this way – with “original sin” human natures in the beginning desire to define truth! Yes sin is still sin in spite of oh so many humans seeking to make real the original sin/unreality!

Kids – Puberty – Family – Anger – Do We have a Clue?:

Fast forward into the prison system and an encounter with 17 year old juveniles! Described not by me!!!! But by the veteran old timer incarcerated inmates! Just who qualified them?
Mad as hell with mom and dad is what they told me! How is it they can see it yet the modern world seeks selfie desire and silence truth! Throw away young people! Throw away the unborn! Throw away bodies based upon a facade! Throw away throw away all that does not meet the selfie agenda!

Suffering – the Message from the Cross:

Arms length – is my cross! Suffering is the hidden doorway behind which truth is found! Avoid suffering at all costs in favor of modern man’s dreaming, as catastrophe awaits!
Reminds me of these words!!! Turn around and come back to me! With whole heart, mind, soul and all your being = body!
Yep I will go to prison on Friday and if I some how smell different, forgive me! It is there I enter into the mystery and smell of the cost of faith and trust of the one who sent me!
If you read this May God Bless you!

Anti Chhrist

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Artificial Intelligence – Yikes:

In reference to AI ( artificial intelligence ) it is built upon a non living platform using software code while using the logic of the human programmer!
As a young man I wrote software that is still being used in the national Air Traffic System of this nation.  Always , the human Air Traffic Controller has the ability to make necessary adjustments.
The real reality is; AI by design will always have an embedded “Bias”!  As such AI posses a great threat to any balanced discussion of human principles and values!  AI as such is a simply a dumb non living pieces parts modern man calls a computer and as such a computer system can have no conscience!

The AI Question:

The question, humanity needs to be asking is simple! How far down this AI road is humanity willing to travel placing freedom in the hands of a non living device with no conscience?
People can change their mind during the process of an open debate! A computer can not! It is simply locked into the logic of the software running in a non living hardware that has no emotions, feelings, free will or any other God created eyes and ears to read and see the unspoken language only one with life, breath and soul can! Man is created in the image of God! Machine is non living!

Oh Oh – We are There — Government /  Political Use of AI:

When our government officials tell us they will use AI to eliminate bias we know we have embarked upon the most dangerous of journey’s! And they are today!
I was created for this day! So we’re you! Who will you serve? God or Man or a non living machine?

An Anti-Christ – with no Soul, no Conscience, no Eyes or Ears:

The Anti Christ’s description in scripture as if it is some form of a “multiple person” entity – not an individual! Computer programs are created and modified by multiples of various people over time who may never have experienced a joint discussion of the logic or purpose or followed up with sufficient testing to verify the system works as the designer thought!

The Programmer – human – fallible:

The above short description is what I encountered when I first began testing the software I wrote! I actually got mad at the computer for not doing exactly what my design concept was! The human = me – made the mistake! The computer did exactly what I programmed!
Fast forward – really real – with multiple layers of human programmers creating – who seldom if ever are able to enter into a discussion and debate!

By the nature of software creation and testing

“AI” will have an embedded multitube of layers of Bias!

Yes AI will have a bias! The trouble for mortal humans will be who can untangle the embedded multi person complex bias!
No One! Danger danger – the next God – the Anti- Christ! I was born for this day!

To Molly

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Hey Molly.  “Moefrancis”  Pretty much I have oh so little of an idea of who you are or what you dream of.  It’s not an accident that happened.

My wife and I came to the hospital the day you were born.   While I was there I called my son, your dad’s brother Todd, so he and his wife would know you were born.  I hoped they would have chance to come as well.  Think I can conclude in 2023 that didn’t go over so well reflecting back.  Not at all sure why but history tells a story one cannot deny!

Christmas Visit – Where is Molly:

My wife and I came to your house at Christmas when you were a baby – I guess you were about nine months old.  Your mother was upstairs with you.  Your dad told us you were sick,  Your mother never came down to visit with us that day.  Never encountered anything like that before.

High Chair Girl:

My wife and I came to your house again, you were in a high chair ( maybe you were around two years old)  at the supper table.  Pretty darn sparse visits I would say!  Have no idea what you might have thought or were told about that day??

Gosh, I am going to have to reflect some on that visit.  My best recollection is it wasn’t a smooth visit like when people sit down and visit because they are happy to see each other.  Not necessarily unwelcome but not welcome either.

Pretty much that’s it!  So I guess you are now 18 years old and about to graduate from High School.  My wife and I have received any notice or invitation in regard to your graduation.  Based upon the past many years that is disappointing but nor a surprise.

So Why Persist?:

So, why the heck am I writing this post??  Guess I never stopped thinking of you and wondered how one day I might be able to communicate with you?

Fast Forward 2023:

At the moment this is best I can do!  I confess I admit years of sustained failure!  Visited your house 3 time in 2023!  No joy!  No success.  No one came to the door but I did hear dogs bark.  I have no idea how you would know this?  I can only hope you might believe me!

My Grand Father – My Name:

When I was a kid my mother’s dad – my grandpa lived with us for around six years.  He was moved from one of his kids homes to another, mostly to my house.  The reason was he had had a stroke.  He could find his way around town to where he wanted to go.  He just couldn’t always find his way back home.  He almost didn’t talk to me during those years even though my mother told me I was his favorite.  I was named after him “Tilton Cheney” – “TC”.

My Grand Fathers Death:

When I was 13, my mother told me he was going to die that night.  I still remember sitting at the bottom of the steps in our / his old house.    Somehow he made it through that night.  The next day my folks took me to see him at a nursing home.  They went into his room first and had me stay outside!  Guess they wanted to make sure it was OK for me to go in.  Soon my mom came and got me into the room.  My grandpa was in bed!  What took my breath away was he began to talk to me like nothing had ever happened to him!  He told me he was going to take me hunting and fishing – things he loved to do.  My throat got tied up in a knot and I couldn’t speak.

More Worried about me than Death itself:

Later after we left and even to this day, I think my grandpa was far more worried about me than he was about death.  I think he knew he was going to die soon.  He rallied himself to talk to me in a genuine effort to make me feel at ease and to not be afraid.  He was think more about me than he was himself.  Yes he died later that night.

Why do I write:?

So why do I write this?  When I was a kid there was no way for me to understand what my grand father had been through or understand how much he loved me!  Just no way!  Now I am 80 and only now can I begin to understand the cost of lost time when one has little control over the circumstances in play.

Wonderment!:

Would one day love to talk to you!  Perhaps I will never get such a chance!  One does not always have control over the opening or closing of the doorway where real relationships are formed.  Even human has issues and handicaps.  I have mine and your mom and dad each have their own!  Most often those handicaps can not be seen only encountered.

Just maybe you may recall the many phone calls I made to your house – never having anyone answer.  Often leaving a message and never getting a call back.  Making a trip every month after open heart surgery – knocking of the door – hearing kids inside cry – no one came to the door.

You were just a Kid:

Heck you were a little kid!  Pretty sure eventually I communicated frustration at the welcoming recorded message that not a single time ever returned a call.

My prayer is somehow, you can learn from the mistakes made (mine and others) and not repeat any of them.

Wish things where different!  But so far no Joy!  But “Hope” lives!  How do I know?  I am writing you this post!  Forgiveness is too often impossible!  I ask you to forgive me and anyone else who assisted in this failure of becoming family!

May God Bless you, your mom, your dad, and your sister.

 

 

The New National Religion of the USA

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Went to prison last Friday. Arrived on time – went to my assigned place. Guard told me no room for you! Go see the Chaplin and off I went – routine! Followed the Chaplin around and was assigned a room! “What do you have in mind for me today Lord!” My prison prayer – my classroom!

First inmate in is a young man who wants to become Catholic. I inform him I want him to pass a test. Write the Ten Commandments and the Seven Sacraments of the Catholic Church.

His response – he has talked with the older inmates and thinks I can answer his question better. So what’s on your mind?

I was born this way!

Something like – I am attracted to men and I was born this way!

Anyone think I was prepared for this? 1990 – 2000 I ministered to people with HIV / AIDS in the bowels of Atlanta. It was considered a crises in those days. HIV slowly overcomes the immune system and almost everyone thought it was a death sentence. I would say one could cut the atmosphere I walked into with a knife. Yes my classroom!

What did I hear repeated again and again. “I was created this way”! I describe it as a cry coming from deep down in the bones of one fast forwarded to facing the reality of Death. Yes many were dying and I learn to recognize the look of those as they approached deaths door.

The Body divided from the Mind, Emoptions without a Soul:

The body has a soul and the soul cries out in distress in multiple ways. Way back then I could not have told anyone but I was sent to be trained in preparation for today’s world and the LBGTQ+++ disconnect agenda from God’s design.

The young man’s question without hesitation told me I had managed to speak the truth without condemnation! I am not afraid of the LBGTQ+++ agenda or speaking the Truth.

In the beginning man demonstrated man could be deceived as man sought the eat the forbidden fruit – Modern man has not changed! Modern man has long been working overtime to disconnect human emotions, human imagination and the soul from the Body!

Abortion the Knife Used to Divide Body and Soul:

Abortion is a great analogy! To justify Abortion humanity has claimed an unborn child is not a person – just a piece of meat! We know better – science proves it – babies kick and turn – feel pain and on and on! Denial of Truth is the sand Abortion sits on!

When I was in middle school on I was afraid to ask girls out! But taking a shower with the boys was a piece of cake. Culture can manipulate humans! Malleable is the word to describe how humans can adapt to various cultural pressures.

There has been a ton of behavior study that has taken place that tells us young people’s imagination can be manipulated and data shows if left to natures process of puberty approximately 93% of young people are happy with their gender. The remaining roughly 7% have suicidal tendencies! I do not claim to be an expert in this regard yet know the studies are available.

The New Religion — Truth Upside Down — Fairy Tail Land = Reality:

Reality long ago the War was launched and prior to 2023 we had a new religion that is being propagated by the culture, supported by Hollywood, the new media, politicians and population control zealots.

The time I spent from 1990 through 2000 was walking in the midst of people crying out — “Who am I”!  My classroom for the great deceivers LBGTQ Agenda

That’s not all folks – No one went with me to the bowels of Atlanta in those days! But I know I was sent there to be taught in preparation for today!

Every human demands (instinctively) both spiritual and physical touch to be affirmed! The importance of holding and loving a child can not be overestimated. A child spent months listening to the heart beat of it’s mother!

Child brought up without a mother and a father is vulnerable!

1960’s: Prayer removed – JFK assassinated by our own government. LBJ war of poverty and the great society followed by the rapid decline of the black family followed shortly by all families regardless of faith!

The new “pronoun” religion placed into law!

Who is gonna speak up if not me?

What Do You have in mind for me today Lord?

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No Room in the Inn ring a bell?

Went prison.  Guard “No room for you today”  Go see the Chaplin!  Off I went.  Followed Chaplin back to same location.  Not much said!  Few minutes and I had a room!

First inmate in is a young man who wants to become a Catholic.  Tell him I want him to be able to write the Ten Commandments and the Seven Sacraments of the Catholic Church.

Are You Ready?

His first comments are that he has been talking with older inmates and perhaps dues to my being an old man and a Deacon I might have a more clear answer.   Are you ready?  Well I was!  Way back in the 1990’s I spent ten years listening to his plea during the HIV / AIDS crises!

Holy Smokes:

Ready??  I am attracted to men and I was BORN this way!   How to answer raced my mind yet I realized just how valuable and deep probing was his acknowledgement.  It verified a few things immediately.  One who is unafraid to speak the Truth is not to be feared, but rather questioned in the search for the Spirit of Truth!  Wow how refreshing this young man’s questions is!  Obviously he did not immediately judge me to be homophobic or prejudice etc. Open I would say to the possibility that the Truth can set one free!  Who said that?

to be continued ……

 

 

A Talking Tattoo:

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Friday Friday! Yep the day I go to prison. Yippie! On the way I pray! “Well Lord what do you have in mind for me today”?
Discipline:  Can anyone see Discipline?  Do you Love me enough?

Six Locked Doors – How many doors of your Heart are Locked?

Make it through six locked gates to my destination! Yep no place for me today! Long ago I learned to stand patiently and wait! And have learned long ago it is time set aside for me to be taught.

God’s Timing:

Has to be God’s timing! Door opens at the end of the hallway I am looking down. In marches white inmate with bold tattoos on his face! Arms behind his back handcuffed I am sure! On his right and left are guards each holding one of his arms.

The Command – Stand Up and Turn Your Back:

They sound a command and every inmate immediately stands and turns their backs to the inmate being lead to a unknown destination. Only myself and the guard next to me can watch.

Spiritual Bricks:  Non Verbal Message:

I wish I could express the ton of spiritual bricks that hit me that instant. The inmate was stocky, looked strong, might actually be handsome if not for the tattoos which made him so hard to look at.

Contrast Jesus Message to His Brave Followers:

I was reminded Every time Jesus met walked into a room with His disciples His first words were “Do not be afraid” and “Peace be with you”.

The Purpose of the Tattoos:  Yes Non Verbal Works:

You bet – those tattoos had a purpose -> “Fear”!  Oh yes I see!  Yet why was it, what I saw was the non verbal voice of a lost soul crying out!  An angry lost soul and the tattoos served as non verbal voice of His imprisoned soul crying out from deep within!  Oh not the same prison I was in! No no! The prison of deep wounds suffered ever so long long ago! A gang member! What the heck is a gang?

The Hidden Magnetic Unseen Force to be a Part of some Family:

When positive creative discipline is missing the question being asked is not answered (do you love me enough?) and the cycle accelerates down hill fast! Ultimately a substitute family will be sought out where any form of discipline will be acceptable! Finally somebody knows and cares I exist!

The Cross and Non Verbal Communications:

Hidden in the Cross lives Hope! Perhaps better said buried in the cross is the narrow gate where Hope can be found!

Come follow me says the Lord! Oh BTW pick up your cross! And just what does that require? Discipline = Love! Yea Dad I love you!