Category Archives: Prison

Can we See? Long Missing – Good News Arrives:

One of the things I learn in prison is: We people often have ears and eyes that simply can’t hear or see!! Case in point!
1. Brought good news pictures of freed inmate recently marriage and celebrating birth on new baby daughter to share.
2. Great surpriseyoung man shows up who has been missing for more than a year! I recognize face but old me can’t find the name!
Previously, he only came for a few months and then disappeared! Discovered the reason he didn’t come is because he found a unique way to get into trouble within the prison resulting in more punishment keeping him from coming! NOW Just HOW Slow are your EARS and EYES????? Evidence of Good News is standing in our Face!!
3. Next thing I know old inmate is complaining about wanting to hear good uplifting news!!!
Yes folks sometimes we are both death and blind!
4. I don’t have to go to prison to visit yet somehow I have managed to make weekly visits since 2010 with a forced COVID break!  Yet I too can stumble!
5. Buried in this message is Good News Shouting! Yes yes yes – He came to die for me! Yes yes yes He told me I would be rejected! Yes yes yes He loves you in the midst of your Sin! Yes yes yes He doesn’t give up when we get discouraged!
6. Yes yes yes He is calling you right now!!! Hmmm. How your eyes and ears doing?
7. Thank you Lord for the Cross – the only way to open the Door where the Narrow Gate is hidden!
8. Yea “Merry Christmas” Yep he came for you and me too! Say this prayer: Help me Lord do your Will! Often I am not so sure I am!! God loves you where you are this moment regardless of your Sin!
Amen:

Parole = Hope:

Visited prison yesterday! One inmate got good news! The parole board tentatively approved his parole!
So what happens next??
A ninety day open to voices that may oppose his release begins. Often this process results in over riding the parole board’s recommendation! Roller coaster ride – the next ninety days! This inmate has been incarcerated 32 years. He has been in prison since age 20.
If he is successful in being paroled the recidivism rate can be as high as 80 % which is testimony to the great difficulty the long incarcerated face when set free!
Prayers please! Next ninety days emotional roller coaster ride along with uncertainty of the outcome!
Few venture & walk where I tread!
My prayer: What do you have in mind for me today Lord!!!

Courage – Found looking into the Mirror of Truth:

When I mention courage I must remind myself I was called to testify to the truth! Some want and seek to redefine truth to justify serious sin! Takes place on FB each and everyday!
In 2011 God gave me a vision and a call to testify to the Spiritual War unfolding in the world!  Yes and this War is unfolding within the Catholic Church itself this very day!
In 2011 I myself was caught up in a mighty struggl that required deep reflection struggling to understand God message to me in a real life real time vision.  I discovered the life of child within held the secret to interpret and understand simply because of my boyhood journey long ago!
Yes, way back when I already knew what I needed to know I just didn’t understand it in the proper Spiritual sense!
Ever since I have been asking the Lord daily!  Discovered too my truck is my chapel where a candid dialogue takes place everywhere I go!  Why me Lord! Heck I have no real power! I have no authority over but so very few! I am called to be only a servant! Hmmm?  Maybe I don’t know what a servant is?
The same message jusat keeps on comes back – “Pick up your cross and come follow me says the Lord”. Again and again I ask – Where is it we are going Lord?  Oh yea – That place – that place your Son was sent – no more sermons place! Oh my!  Yes Lord I will follow!
In 2024 my journey continues looking for courage, leadership and grace from those appointed to lead me!  Oh my – yes they are caught up in this Spiritual War as well!
Yes Yes – We have been and are in a mean spirited “Spiritual War”!  Gosh, it has been unfolding in my life for at least 13 years and yes in the Church the Lord called me to serve!
Not so surprising I find myself held at “arms length” by leaders in my Church as though I am a leper!  Why was Jesus rejected?  “Rebuke” isn’t right out of scripture the method of the Lord to communicate Love when one strays into sin!
Silence is defining!  Silence a sign of lack of courage to speak, a lack of courage to rebuke, a lack of courage to encourage or even ask “How are things going”?  This is exactly what I have encountered for the last eight years!
Am I failing?  Do I lack courage?  What the heck should I do Lord?  The inability to respond seems to wrap it’s arms around me!   No doubt – I am not alone in this War!  I call it the lack of courage to do the right thing! Rebuke me where I am in error or honor my Ordination! Clearly silence communicates Neither is the case!  Neither positive or negative!
At times I wonder if I will have a single friend outside my family!
There is no doubt in my mind the good Lord called and sent me long ago into the fire of the modern battle long ago as in 1990. I could not have told anyone at that time! Today I know I was primarily the student – sent to be taught – sent so my spiritual ears could learn hear souls crying as real people were facing death!  Yea me – I was simply powerless to do much except listen and encourage those suffering to look for meaning in the unfolding journey.
Let me assure the reader!  The Lord was and is not done with me yet! In 2011 he sent me into prison to walk through a room full of young men! My eyes and ears trained many years ago told me something was seriously amiss among these young men! Here I am again Lord – a student again! Yes My eyes and ears are open to receive!

Mass Incarceration: Hmmm – What does that Mean?

Well have you ever given this any thought??  Funny me!

Went to prison today! Started talking about how modern humanity regarding the Middle East around the world tends to jump off nearest cliff and then tries to justify it! Worse in America we have young people who bye and support words they themselves can not define – like Mass Incarceration and decolonization – the cliff jumpers!
I wonder does the reader know?
Well wouldn’t you know two lifers got into the stinky human (pride) argument that has a destination head strong toward the cliff! Question runs through my mind and I begin to wonder  “Oh Lord what the heck am I doing”?
You know Faith and Trust are sometimes oh so difficult to hold onto!
So one lifer finally has had enough and abruptly walks out! Sounds like America and the world today? Well folks, I gotta pull the Hope hiding in my pocket (helps if your Catholic) and we begin our Communion Service! Yes we did – 1!
We manage to get through the readings and reflect upon the nature of humanity and that of the Son of God who came to teach us what we often don’t really what to know! The Truth about our nature from the very beginning! That dang tree is mine or something very close – very close is LBGTQ! Yep man’s desire to recreate old selfie into whatever man wants!
Do we know the leaders of Jesus day just had to shut him up! This Truth thing gets in our selfie way! Well the Son of God is far smarter than I! He knew He had to teach without speaking! Yes it was the non verbal Suffering that communicated the pathway to the narrow gate always open to those who choose to take the deep dive!
Well as the bread of Life is being who – just who walks back into the room??
Lord Have Mercy has long arms! Thank You Lord! The power of forgiveness works! And just before we has prayed the Our Father. “Forgive us our trespass’s as we forgive those who trespass against me! The Two lifers embraced – Holy Smokes!
Yep I was the student again today!
There is an explanation to this story that can be very hard to see! During the past month one lifer was up for parole and his hopes were high!
“Lifer” is a term that carries a heavy load because these lifer’s both received sentences that included the possibility of Parole after 15 years!
Keep in mind both have been incarcerated over 30+ years! Perhaps the best description of their circumstance is they get to ride on an annual Parole Roller Coaster most of us never think about.
As parole time approaches their hopes begin to ride high as the coaster approaches the peak of the highest point the rail of reality for them! The anticipation and emotions increase as each approaches the moment of receiving the official decision!
Who am I that I get to ride along being unaware and not included in the exact decision process or notice! Repeat the ride over 15+++ times over and one begins to get to stare again and again at the consequences of that day many long ago!
Yes this is an annual test!  Many ever so many are ignorant that it even exists – the ride to the Top and then Oh My! Mass Incarceration what is that?  Do we really know?  Bet not many do!
Freedom and Liberty always have a cost! Ever so many in our modern world are caught up in an unreality of the true cost of Truth!
Crucified – the cost!  Mini crucifixions – I walk where so few ever consider even ever giving any thought let alone enter the story!
For me this ministry has lead me to a doorway!  Hope has lead me here!  Will Justice and Mercy ever embrace and kiss?  Please pray for these men!

The Cost of a Misstep:

Beyond these Stone Walls:

Charlene has learned something about mercy. The lesson did not come cheap, as her memoir describes. Only such a wounded healer could call upon the Church’s shepherds with the force of having lived the Gospel of Mercy, to refine the voices they are listening to in all this. “What kind of shepherds,” she wrote. “abandon their sheep when they make a misstep.”

I hope someone will open and read the following link:

https://beyondthesestonewalls.com/voices-from-beyond/drinking-from-the-saucer?ss_source=sscampaigns&ss_campaign_id=64d6fbdd75edc55ad4addfb7&ss_email_id=64d7679a8f6372475ca904bc&ss_campaign_name=Drinking+from+the+Saucer&ss_campaign_sent_date=2023-08-12T11%3A06%3A27Z

Beyond These Stone Walls: Prison and the Cross:

Some months ago in my search to find myself amidst life’s twists and turns I found the web site “Beyond these Stone Walls”:   I subscribed to this site and now receive periodic updates.

The following post is associated with the spiritual struggle of one who finds themselves in a prison – not necessarily by choice yet very much confined by circumstances in life.

The Cross of Human Suffering:

I have to say it was a lesson unexpected as a result of ministering to prisoners and then encountering the essence of a prison one can not see yet can be imposed.  What I discovered through reflection on this reality is the unspoken message Jesus Christ communicated while hanging on the crossThe language used in the message is the unspoken word clearly passed through the cross of human suffering.

Jesus Christ – The Way:

In order for one to begin to understand this language of the cross, one must suffer sufficiently that one becomes willing to search in earnest to find the narrow gate “hidden in the cross” and then be brave enough to take the necessary deep dive into the abyss of life required to find oneself and there the answer that lies in wait.

The reward one finds when they take the deep dive is simply this:  One begins to see with spiritual eyes and one begins to hear with spiritual ears that which has always been present.

Another example of a journey to discover “the already and not yet” doorway only possible with ones cross!

https://beyondthesestonewalls.com/posts/for-pornchai-moontri-hope-and-hard-work-build-a-future?ss_source=sscampaigns&ss_campaign_id=64c0d419c7d6884f8cdf115b&ss_email_id=64c0fd132875624279b75a03&ss_campaign_name=For+Pornchai+Moontri%2C+Hope+and+Hard+Work+Build+a+Future&ss_campaign_sent_date=2023-07-26T11%3A06%3A01Z

Fight or Flight – Stress – Lessons from the Past:

Routine Visit – Ha!

Routine visit to the Prison today!  Haha on me!  Did I tell you my prayer regarding my visits to prison often where I discover I am more a student than a teacher.  And the normal prayer for me is this:  “What do you have in mind for me today Lord”?

Start with Prayer – Heck the Whole thing is a Prayer:

Hope I don’t disappoint!!!  Yep, I go to Mass, am entrusted  with the Eucharist and quickly on my way via my (truck) chapel where I pray all the way!  Not possible some say!!!  Have ya ever ridden in my truck with me?

Mother Church:

Yes mam!  I get to prison on time.  Oh my the main gate scanner isn’t working!  Rummage through my carry in clear see through pack is quickly completed.

Deeper and Deeper:

Walk through the next 5 locked gates and encounter two of my boys (haha on me they are inmates in for life)!!  What the heck is going on?  Met almost immediately met by the Chaplin – taken aside – not normal!  Escorted out of the room and trying to ask questions as we walk fast!  Holy Smokes – that room almost packed with inmates are – are – are – the Chaplin told me = they are ALL Lifers!  Something new I have never encountered to date.  Hmmm – you talken to me Lord?!

On to the next building – am told wait here while I check for a room!  In library I see uniformed individuals sitting across from an inmate!  Then Holy Smokes here come a bunch of lifers from the first room I passed headed straight into my space.  How do I know?  One of them is the first inmate I introduced you to last week who was the first encountered years ago when I first began.  He comes and stands right next me.

Finally I begin to get the drift of what is taking place!  Yep the Good Lord has something to remind me about today.  Now my old friend!  Yikes did I just write a lifer inmate if my old friend!  Whew – another reminder – long ago I called – er – perhaps better said “SENT” to be taught by an unseen advocate – maybe I should call this spirit my tail gate defender who covers my back!

Have I lost you yet?  My old friend tells me.  I remind you he is standing there right at my side – he informs me he is waiting to be interviewed regarding his potential parole!

Life’s Roller Coaster Ride:

Have you ever been on a roller coaster!  You know up up up the hill followed by oh my — my stomachs — am I gonna lose it’s contents as the roller coaster’s bottom falls accelerating downhill!   Do you get the drift of the intensity of the moment?  My old friend asks me to pray for him – he is sweating what words he need to use?????  The the silent “HELP” is heard!!!!!!!!!  Lord Have Mercy!     Life's a roller coaster ride! - Thoughts to wordsIntense – stress – I can’t run away – I can’t hide – I must hang tough!  What do I say???

Flash back – here we go again!  Maybe some of you have heard that the air traffic controllers job is one of the most stressful job that exists!  Some experts have said so.  I myself spent some serious time in the world’s busiest Air Traffic Facilities!  I have watched unbelievable things happen to air traffic controllers in seconds.  Don’t recall I ever told this you learn but don’t talk about!  Here it is!

Smell It?

Haha you gonna have ta wait!  Best I can do to replicate a roller coaster ride.  Recently I heard a very high level Catholic clergyman state that Jesus called his disciples to be shepherds.  Shepherd – not a word to be lightly understood!  And to be an effective shepherd, one must spend some serious very close encounter quality time among the sheep – yes – so much so that the shepherd takes on the smell of the sheep.

I sure hope this analogy works!  Did you know the body of an air traffic controller develops stress related bad breath until eventually the body adapts to the pressure cooker!  Yes I learned I know the smell of stress!  Chicago O’Hare 1970’s.  Unexpected flashback for an old man in May 2023.  Yes that is just part of what the good Lord had in mind for me today!

Summary:  Man that roller coaster ride can be gruesome as ones hopes, dreams and emotions wrap there arms around ones soul.

What do I do?  Oh What do I do? – Suffering – Preparation in Hiding:

So what does one say???  You have been preparing for this day 35 + years.  What’s most essential is your faith and trust in Jesus Christ and the Advocate!  Breathe out and then when you breathe in – suck in the Holy Spirit hidden in the cross named hurry up and wait!  You are more ready more than you know!  Have faith and trust in the spirit planted within “in the beginning” knowing no matter that no matter the outcome your standing in the exactly the right check out lane!

Then I was lead to the furthest part of the prison where I have never been before!  Waiting  alone – waiting for what?

to be continued ……..