“Beyond These Stone Walls” – Mother Mary (Virgin) – Some don’t get it::
Mother Mary – Fatima:
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Category Archives: Prison
Test Post for James
Hey hey! Welcome from the theideacon!
The Cost of a Misstep:
Beyond these Stone Walls:
Charlene has learned something about mercy. The lesson did not come cheap, as her memoir describes. Only such a wounded healer could call upon the Church’s shepherds with the force of having lived the Gospel of Mercy, to refine the voices they are listening to in all this. “What kind of shepherds,” she wrote. “abandon their sheep when they make a misstep.”
I hope someone will open and read the following link:
Beyond These Stone Walls: Prison and the Cross:
Some months ago in my search to find myself amidst life’s twists and turns I found the web site “Beyond these Stone Walls”: I subscribed to this site and now receive periodic updates.
The following post is associated with the spiritual struggle of one who finds themselves in a prison – not necessarily by choice yet very much confined by circumstances in life.
The Cross of Human Suffering:
I have to say it was a lesson unexpected as a result of ministering to prisoners and then encountering the essence of a prison one can not see yet can be imposed. What I discovered through reflection on this reality is the unspoken message Jesus Christ communicated while hanging on the cross. The language used in the message is the unspoken word clearly passed through the cross of human suffering.
Jesus Christ – The Way:
In order for one to begin to understand this language of the cross, one must suffer sufficiently that one becomes willing to search in earnest to find the narrow gate “hidden in the cross” and then be brave enough to take the necessary deep dive into the abyss of life required to find oneself and there the answer that lies in wait.
The reward one finds when they take the deep dive is simply this: One begins to see with spiritual eyes and one begins to hear with spiritual ears that which has always been present.
Another example of a journey to discover “the already and not yet” doorway only possible with ones cross!
Fight or Flight – Stress – Lessons from the Past:
Routine Visit – Ha!
Routine visit to the Prison today! Haha on me! Did I tell you my prayer regarding my visits to prison often where I discover I am more a student than a teacher. And the normal prayer for me is this: “What do you have in mind for me today Lord”?
Start with Prayer – Heck the Whole thing is a Prayer:
Hope I don’t disappoint!!! Yep, I go to Mass, am entrusted with the Eucharist and quickly on my way via my (truck) chapel where I pray all the way! Not possible some say!!! Have ya ever ridden in my truck with me?
Mother Church:
Yes mam! I get to prison on time. Oh my the main gate scanner isn’t working! Rummage through my carry in clear see through pack is quickly completed.
Deeper and Deeper:
Walk through the next 5 locked gates and encounter two of my boys (haha on me they are inmates in for life)!! What the heck is going on? Met almost immediately met by the Chaplin – taken aside – not normal! Escorted out of the room and trying to ask questions as we walk fast! Holy Smokes – that room almost packed with inmates are – are – are – the Chaplin told me = they are ALL Lifers! Something new I have never encountered to date. Hmmm – you talken to me Lord?!
On to the next building – am told wait here while I check for a room! In library I see uniformed individuals sitting across from an inmate! Then Holy Smokes here come a bunch of lifers from the first room I passed headed straight into my space. How do I know? One of them is the first inmate I introduced you to last week who was the first encountered years ago when I first began. He comes and stands right next me.
Finally I begin to get the drift of what is taking place! Yep the Good Lord has something to remind me about today. Now my old friend! Yikes did I just write a lifer inmate if my old friend! Whew – another reminder – long ago I called – er – perhaps better said “SENT” to be taught by an unseen advocate – maybe I should call this spirit my tail gate defender who covers my back!
Have I lost you yet? My old friend tells me. I remind you he is standing there right at my side – he informs me he is waiting to be interviewed regarding his potential parole!
Life’s Roller Coaster Ride:
Have you ever been on a roller coaster! You know up up up the hill followed by oh my — my stomachs — am I gonna lose it’s contents as the roller coaster’s bottom falls accelerating downhill! Do you get the drift of the intensity of the moment? My old friend asks me to pray for him – he is sweating what words he need to use????? The the silent “HELP” is heard!!!!!!!!! Lord Have Mercy! Intense – stress – I can’t run away – I can’t hide – I must hang tough! What do I say???
Flash back – here we go again! Maybe some of you have heard that the air traffic controllers job is one of the most stressful job that exists! Some experts have said so. I myself spent some serious time in the world’s busiest Air Traffic Facilities! I have watched unbelievable things happen to air traffic controllers in seconds. Don’t recall I ever told this you learn but don’t talk about! Here it is!
Smell It?
Haha you gonna have ta wait! Best I can do to replicate a roller coaster ride. Recently I heard a very high level Catholic clergyman state that Jesus called his disciples to be shepherds. Shepherd – not a word to be lightly understood! And to be an effective shepherd, one must spend some serious very close encounter quality time among the sheep – yes – so much so that the shepherd takes on the smell of the sheep.
I sure hope this analogy works! Did you know the body of an air traffic controller develops stress related bad breath until eventually the body adapts to the pressure cooker! Yes I learned I know the smell of stress! Chicago O’Hare 1970’s. Unexpected flashback for an old man in May 2023. Yes that is just part of what the good Lord had in mind for me today!
Summary: Man that roller coaster ride can be gruesome as ones hopes, dreams and emotions wrap there arms around ones soul.
What do I do? Oh What do I do? – Suffering – Preparation in Hiding:
So what does one say??? You have been preparing for this day 35 + years. What’s most essential is your faith and trust in Jesus Christ and the Advocate! Breathe out and then when you breathe in – suck in the Holy Spirit hidden in the cross named hurry up and wait! You are more ready more than you know! Have faith and trust in the spirit planted within “in the beginning” knowing no matter that no matter the outcome your standing in the exactly the right check out lane!
Then I was lead to the furthest part of the prison where I have never been before! Waiting alone – waiting for what?
to be continued ……..
Senior Lifer Inmate Returns
The Spiritual Set Up:
The past week I have been fretting about just what I should do regarding natural human conflict between two inmates who attend my Catholic Service.
Funny and Not Very Funny:
Can we laugh at ourselves and just how human were set up? Funny but not so funny – one became upset with the other for engaging in a protracted debate / challenging my core perspective regarding Faith, Trust and Hope founded upon my religious belief in God, scripture and the Catholic perspective on Truth.
What Going On and On and On will Do!:
It was an argument, debate, long winded discussion some might find difficult to endure. Well fact was on inmate stood up without saying a word and walked out. This inmate did not return.
Time for a Deep Dive:
This particular incident caused my soul to search first for why the two inmates both felt strongly about the perspectives they held. Further I wanted to know what I could or should have done to handle this situation better?
“Artificial Intelligence”
The good news for me was, I was able to listen without overly interrupting the inmate making a point about Artificial Intelligence and how repeatedly in the past human kind has been able to imagine concepts not possible at the time, yet over time became a reality. Technology, cell phones, flight, outer space travel, electricity, medical advances, etc. etc. Yes things that must have been considered at one point in history as impossible yet today we know conclusively those imagined possibilities are really real.
Why not AIT? What’s so different?
Fundamental Truth? AI is a machine not human and does not have a soul or real feelings or emotions! It is simply a non living – electronic computer technology completely dependent up some flawed human being creating the hardware and software that can emulate ever so many human capabilities. AI has an advantage over a single human being for it can access data and be programmed by multiples of human being with a multiplicity of human values programmed into a non living highly sophisticated embedded complex outcomes which over time will become more and more difficult to test the predicted outcome!
The Other Inmate had had enough – Body Language in Action:
Question is? What is our tolerance capability and can we hear the spiritual question being asked hidden within a challenging debate?
The on and on debate Question hides the spiritual question! – Do our spiritual eyes and ears work?
As the dialogue went on as happens in time – how does one test such a machine and what standard will be used to measure the future outcomes / truth of results of AI? The machine will not have a soul nor a conscientious – rather a growing multiplicity of human and perhaps other machine software programmers who may never ever to speak to one another about the purpose and validation of outputs!
Fast Back to the “In the Very Beginning”:
Will mankind treat such a machine as a God? The temptation will be real as “In the beginning”! Will the reality of human kinds original sin be factored in? Ah ha! The Ten Commandments! Ah ha humankind’s nature to fall into temptation / desire to take ownership of the original “Tree of Knowledge” in the Garden.
A leap forward and simultaneously a leap backward to “in the beginning” – temptation!
Have I confused anyone yet?
Hey I know this is incomplete but I gotta take a break!
to be continued ………….
30 + Years versus One soon to be Paroled:
Went to prison yesterday. Normal entry and normal delay for inmates to come! Food for thought! Almost every week a delay! And just why do I persist?
Oh, something about I am the student – sent to proclaim the Good News and to listen to the spirit’s voice hidden is the message spoken and unspoken by men incarcerated.
Oh Oh – I am the Student!!:
One inmate has been in prison 30 plus years. Lots of time to think! He admits guilt in murder of another human being. He regrets the impact of his frustration that lead to his crime! Essentially a spear he could not see coming penetrated his spirit when his son committed suicide as a older teenager.
Perspective of Hope – Stubbornness of the Spirit:
Can you imagine 30 + years to reflect upon and study the teachings of the Catholic Church. Simultaneously, ones human nature that landed him in prison clings to oneself and continues to cause him to challenge again and again truth no matter who! Just happened to be me today! Yes my each expressed thought! Can any one make the leap to understand this same challenge plays out time and again within the prison when I am not present with other inmates?
A Pain – a Pain! Get over yourself!:
So it was this day my question “how has it been going” lead to a conversation where seemingly every thought I expressed was challenged. Could it be 30 years ever so little hope exists “of ever being set free” was driving the conversation? A conversation that was upsetting to another inmate who recently received news “parole for multiple inmates was on the near horizon”. I ask myself? Are my ears working? Am I off track? New Hope came face to face with Hope frustrated! Unspoken language speaks through body movement! Absolutely no doubt – for sure something obviously had been triggered.
Oh Lord has my willingness to take the RISK to let people Speak an Error?
Was the difference I observed this day between the two inmates a spiritual attitude toward the hope of parole intensified by my willingness to take such a risk? Did I observe the natural long existing conflict – yet not fully understood by either – between the inmates – seemingly obviously due to a long interaction between the two men. A mouth full!
There I sat – the enabler: Guilty!
There I was essentially sitting in the middle enabling a discussion challenging my perspective of the future of Artificial Intelligence (AI) . Yes I was being challenged to defend myself at every turn in regard to inanimate object (AI’s home) – a non-human machines ability to replicate and exceed a humans ability to reason.
A machine no matter how sophisticated does not have a soul – nor was it created in the image of God with free will!
The unspoken word speaks clearly! Evidence – the inmate – a short timer – in his mind could not tolerate the lifer’s attitude in regard to his insistence to challenge my perspective
Sometimes the soul speaks through ones feet! Yes the short-timer got up and walked out!
Wonder why I am writing this?
Did I tell you – in this ministry to prisoners – I have discovered the Spirit of the One who called me, reversed my role making me the student and teacher so I might travel through the valley that leads one to begin to better understand God’s complicated design of the nature of the Human person – where the soul can not escape the body!
Fact — This is not easy reality to digest and discern the truth. Is it perhaps the valley one must pass through where the search for wisdom leads both teacher and student?
And where do I find a Human I can talk to who will not get up and leave?
Arms Length – Smell of Sheep
Shepherd: Flock: So close: Takes on Smell:
The term used by Jesus to describe the leaders of the church was a Shepherd! Hmmm! Food for thought!! If one studies (perhaps even better lives with) what a “real” shepherd does, one learns a Shepherd spends so much time with the sheep, the shepherd takes on the smell of the sheep!
Seems to me that’s a lot of time among and exposure to real life human beings which has the potential to opening a doorway wide for the sheep to enter into the sacraments where the Shepherd seeks to lead the flock!
Take the Real Presence out into the Sheep’s grazing grounds:
Kinda the Shepherd’s task is to find ways to take the message, if you will the “real presence” out of the sacred place into the sheep’s grazing grounds!
Uncomfortable?
This might be a little -well maybe viewed as ohhh very uncomfortable for some Shepherd’s who might just encounter lost sheep including some who attend Mass every week!
Arms length might be a good description of one who is unable and unwilling to venture outside the sacred venues they have authority and essentially total control.
Arms Length – neither a “Yes” or “No”:
Arms length might be a good description of one who is unable and unwilling to venture outside the sacred venues they have authority and essentially total control.
This is not easy human reality! It’s just the reality of my journey! Arms length – neither a “yes” or a “no”! Rather it is fear to enter into a relationship – and results in being non decisive!
A Gift I didn’t ask for:
Seems to me the good Lord gave me a gift I wasn’t shopping for! Ten years with people suffering with HIV/AIDS fast forwarded facing the reality of death resulted in an immersion of myself into the world of sheep saying “I was born this way” – not understanding “in the beginning” they were exactly born this way – with “original sin” human natures in the beginning desire to define truth! Yes sin is still sin in spite of oh so many humans seeking to make real the original sin/unreality!
Kids – Puberty – Family – Anger – Do We have a Clue?:
Fast forward into the prison system and an encounter with 17 year old juveniles! Described not by me!!!! But by the veteran old timer incarcerated inmates! Just who qualified them?
Mad as hell with mom and dad is what they told me! How is it they can see it yet the modern world seeks selfie desire and silence truth! Throw away young people! Throw away the unborn! Throw away bodies based upon a facade! Throw away throw away all that does not meet the selfie agenda!
Suffering – the Message from the Cross:
Arms length – is my cross! Suffering is the hidden doorway behind which truth is found! Avoid suffering at all costs in favor of modern man’s dreaming, as catastrophe awaits!
Reminds me of these words!!! Turn around and come back to me! With whole heart, mind, soul and all your being = body!
Yep I will go to prison on Friday and if I some how smell different, forgive me! It is there I enter into the mystery and smell of the cost of faith and trust of the one who sent me!
If you read this May God Bless you!
The New National Religion of the USA
Went to prison last Friday. Arrived on time – went to my assigned place. Guard told me no room for you! Go see the Chaplin and off I went – routine! Followed the Chaplin around and was assigned a room! “What do you have in mind for me today Lord!” My prison prayer – my classroom!
First inmate in is a young man who wants to become Catholic. I inform him I want him to pass a test. Write the Ten Commandments and the Seven Sacraments of the Catholic Church.
His response – he has talked with the older inmates and thinks I can answer his question better. So what’s on your mind?
I was born this way!
Something like – I am attracted to men and I was born this way!
Anyone think I was prepared for this? 1990 – 2000 I ministered to people with HIV / AIDS in the bowels of Atlanta. It was considered a crises in those days. HIV slowly overcomes the immune system and almost everyone thought it was a death sentence. I would say one could cut the atmosphere I walked into with a knife. Yes my classroom!
What did I hear repeated again and again. “I was created this way”! I describe it as a cry coming from deep down in the bones of one fast forwarded to facing the reality of Death. Yes many were dying and I learn to recognize the look of those as they approached deaths door.
The Body divided from the Mind, Emoptions without a Soul:
The body has a soul and the soul cries out in distress in multiple ways. Way back then I could not have told anyone but I was sent to be trained in preparation for today’s world and the LBGTQ+++ disconnect agenda from God’s design.
The young man’s question without hesitation told me I had managed to speak the truth without condemnation! I am not afraid of the LBGTQ+++ agenda or speaking the Truth.
In the beginning man demonstrated man could be deceived as man sought the eat the forbidden fruit – Modern man has not changed! Modern man has long been working overtime to disconnect human emotions, human imagination and the soul from the Body!
Abortion the Knife Used to Divide Body and Soul:
Abortion is a great analogy! To justify Abortion humanity has claimed an unborn child is not a person – just a piece of meat! We know better – science proves it – babies kick and turn – feel pain and on and on! Denial of Truth is the sand Abortion sits on!
When I was in middle school on I was afraid to ask girls out! But taking a shower with the boys was a piece of cake. Culture can manipulate humans! Malleable is the word to describe how humans can adapt to various cultural pressures.
There has been a ton of behavior study that has taken place that tells us young people’s imagination can be manipulated and data shows if left to natures process of puberty approximately 93% of young people are happy with their gender. The remaining roughly 7% have suicidal tendencies! I do not claim to be an expert in this regard yet know the studies are available.
The New Religion — Truth Upside Down — Fairy Tail Land = Reality:
Reality long ago the War was launched and prior to 2023 we had a new religion that is being propagated by the culture, supported by Hollywood, the new media, politicians and population control zealots.
The time I spent from 1990 through 2000 was walking in the midst of people crying out — “Who am I”! My classroom for the great deceivers LBGTQ Agenda
That’s not all folks – No one went with me to the bowels of Atlanta in those days! But I know I was sent there to be taught in preparation for today!
Every human demands (instinctively) both spiritual and physical touch to be affirmed! The importance of holding and loving a child can not be overestimated. A child spent months listening to the heart beat of it’s mother!
Child brought up without a mother and a father is vulnerable!
1960’s: Prayer removed – JFK assassinated by our own government. LBJ war of poverty and the great society followed by the rapid decline of the black family followed shortly by all families regardless of faith!
The new “pronoun” religion placed into law!
Who is gonna speak up if not me?
What Do You have in mind for me today Lord?
No Room in the Inn ring a bell?
Went prison. Guard “No room for you today” Go see the Chaplin! Off I went. Followed Chaplin back to same location. Not much said! Few minutes and I had a room!
First inmate in is a young man who wants to become a Catholic. Tell him I want him to be able to write the Ten Commandments and the Seven Sacraments of the Catholic Church.
Are You Ready?
His first comments are that he has been talking with older inmates and perhaps dues to my being an old man and a Deacon I might have a more clear answer. Are you ready? Well I was! Way back in the 1990’s I spent ten years listening to his plea during the HIV / AIDS crises!
Holy Smokes:
Ready?? I am attracted to men and I was BORN this way! How to answer raced my mind yet I realized just how valuable and deep probing was his acknowledgement. It verified a few things immediately. One who is unafraid to speak the Truth is not to be feared, but rather questioned in the search for the Spirit of Truth! Wow how refreshing this young man’s questions is! Obviously he did not immediately judge me to be homophobic or prejudice etc. Open I would say to the possibility that the Truth can set one free! Who said that?
to be continued ……