Finding Self: Things you don’t know until you walk into the darkness:

How to Start a Retreat?  Yep!

Friday morning August 2, 2024.  Make it to Mass 8 AM.  Put six Hosts in my Pyx before Mass and set my Pyx on the table next to altar.  Listen to the Word!  Receive Communion.  At the end of Mass, Fr. comes to step in front of Altar and waits for me to come.  He gives me the Pyx.  Then He Blesses me as he sends me on my Mission to a State Prison.

The Story Unfolds:  Preparation for things yet to come:  Jump into my Chapel:

Get in my truck which has become my moving Chapel.  Begin my usual prayers on the way.  Well Lord “What do you have in mind for me today”?  Prison is the place I enter, where I have little control.  Six Heavy Doors I have no ability to open.  Usually don’t know who will show up for my Catholic / Communion service? Been going about – how come I don’t remember when I started?  Oh yea my first year was in the application process.  End of first year no joy!  Yep!  My prayer, “Lord I have done everything I know how to do”!  I guess “prison ministry” is not for me!  Lord, done everything I know how to do, I will stop pursuing this ministry!

About a week Later!  My cell phone rings!  I answer and to my surprise it’s the Chaplain from the Prison.  My answer, without thinking!  “yes”!  Next thing I know I am being finger printed – silly silly – I was in the military – I already have finger prints – what the hay!  Got my mug shot.  A locator Card – interesting – a card left at the main entrance gate in case – yikes – the prison goes Lock Down with me in there!  So they know to look for me!  Next I get a Badge with my picture!

Been going 14 Years now?

After 14 Years I encounter an Orphan:  Accident?

Today August 2, 2024.  Young man 39 in for drug offense’s, tells me he is an orphan adopted by Catholic Parents.  He started coming a couple months ago.  I have concluded he is looking to find “what the Hay” is this Catholic Religion his parents introduced him too!   Can I say this Catholic thing?  Yep!  He was Baptized and received the Sacraments.

My description something happened and now he has developed a Thirst!

My Calling:  To Speak about being Stretched:

My calling is to speak to inmates about being stretched.  Take them to a place that creates a stretch:  An uncomfortable place through the suffering prison incarceration creates, if they will begin to search for the “Open Door”.  So I am a story teller about the places (HIV / AIDS Prison) I was called and sent to be ever so “uncomfortable” so the really real discomfort would create a door for the “Holy Spirit” to conduct Class!  Oh my!  Way way outside the structure of Church buildings!

What?  What do You want me to do Lord – What?

Can you imagine it was my diaconate Catholic Church leaders who directed my class to embark upon a summer ministry that would make us each “uncomfortable”!  Holy Smokes!

Lord Help me lead them to your Open Door!

My constant prison ministry prayer is!  Help me Lord do your will so these men can find their way through the open and available door suffering creates so they may find the gift and treasure buried within themselves hidden in the suffering underway awaiting discovery!

A mouthful!  Wonder if anyone can understand?

In walk four Hispanic inmates.  One does not speak English!  My test he is!  Can I pause from time to time and ask his brothers to translate my stories for him that he may feel included!  Sometimes me talks too much!

This day – Friday August 2, 2024 the good Lord had something in mind for me!  After telling one of my “I was stretched stories”!   My 39 year old orphan brother speaks up!  He tells us, he volunteered for a job / task in the prison some time ago and it just didn’t work out!  So he began looking for another volunteer job.   Then he tells me / us!  ( I am all ears!)  He was assigned to work with a 14 year kid with a 30 year sentence!   More, “the kid” has been abandoned by his mother and father!  He is an angry kid!  Yet in his his anger he has managed to find things he can laugh at!

Anyone with me?  Yea the morning of the day I go on Retreat!  Can anyone hear me?

Imagine if you can!!!  An “Orphan” 39 looking for the meaning of his faith / religion has been paired up with a mere kid age 14, whose parents have abandoned him.  Yes – God was speaking to me and answering my prayer!  A grown man whose weakness is drugs paired with a kid!  Both orphans thrown into this prison independently, a place of suffering wondering – is there a chance to find the treasure of self hidden within prison walls!  My prayer!  Help my faith, trust and risk to share my story help anyone?

Next I turn to the Hispanics and ask them to relate my story to their Spanish brother!  I wanna cry!  Why?  You see this none English speaking man is much much older.  When he reads it reminds me of when I was in the sixth grade in a Catholic school and my teacher asked me to read a third grade reader out loud!  I was not a fluid reader!  I was embarrassed!  I still remember quite clearly!  Stumbling over words – aware everyone on my class was listening!  Yes, I am 81 and I still remember!!!

What the Reader can’t see:  I was Set Up:

In 1994 I bought 102 acres of land in the middle of tree growing country in central Georgia.  To be named “Whispering Pines”, visited by the Parish priest who woke me up to God was called me in 1979!  During his visit he named the place for me!  “Land of God’s good fun!” Whispering Pines talking to my soul!  The trees growing and stretching skyward in the background of the Chapel at St. Ignatius House.  Anyone notice many trees have very sparely spread limbs as if he stretch toward the source of Life is the primary objective!   My journey in 1990 among people with HIV/AIDS!  Lord what am I doing here!  I do not relate much to these people yet I sit her and listen to whisper of souls crying out to heard!

A Treasure Hidden:

My prayer and my stretch story to the orphan inmate who found himself paired with a 14 year boy, 30 year sentence whose parents had abandoned him!  Lord have mercy – how did that happen Lord?  A treasure unfolding hidden in the story of two men years apart searching to find what can not be seen in the midst of suffering where almost no one looks!

Yep, I somehow made it to the retreat some 73 miles from my home and wife.

A New Story Unfolding:

1st night I encounter a story about a “blob” standing outside the huge glass widow I stair!  As my eyes search I discover the journey of my day is unveiled.  A stretch where no one travels with me.  Next Friday I have a story to tell to orphans ears and to stretch Hispanic ears as they grasp for the words to translate the message to a brother patiently waiting.

Multitudes of humanity confined within Heavy Gates:

Multitudes of tress!  Young, older and old tress all stretching in hope to source of life high above in the sky.  Few limbs considering normal tress.  Yep those tress are in competition and stretching with all their might reaching for the source of light that assures constant life more abundant in the midst of suffering!  They are reaching from the floor of a natural cliff far far below where the vegetation is thick and dead leaves and branches cover the ground.  A level where the rays of the sun are effectively blocked.  Death abounds at the foot of the tress providing future nourishment for the growth of the trees.  A dying taking place necessary for the growth of new life high above.    A kind of natural area concealed in darkness and only when ones looks for the sky can one find and see the stretching of life seeking the precious source of light that sustains life and essential life sustaining new growth!

A Peek into the Darkness searching for the Light:

Yes, a peek into the prison I visit on a weekly basis!  Packed with humanity into precious few spaces!  Can anyone make a difference?  Although crowded with humanity, precious little space allowed for one to escape the darkness grasping from within to stretch and find the narrow crease one can chase the source of LifeAn escape from the darkness that seeks to hold one bound in darkness!  Only a creative imagination can find the narrow gap that allows one to find the path that leads one to the source of light – yes – the place where new life and hope hide far above the darkness!

Stations of the Cross:

Weeping occurs when wonderment escapes and embraces the light shinning in the midst of suffering of one who opens ones soul to encounter the spirit that unfolds the leaves surrounding the treasure that awaits in hiding!  Can you see?

to be continued ……….

 

 

 

 

The To Be Continued – Jesus in the Boat Asleep:

Well where did I leave off? Oh yea my dad’s reaction in the middle of the night in the middle of the Storm / Squall! Oh my Today’s Gospel! Jesus sleeping in the boat in the middle of a Squall while his brothers were filled with anxiety!! Yea you and me – we humans! A test of faith and trust!! Do you trust me to finish?
My dad said – “Son it’s just the lightning”!  Go and get back in bed!
Magic words – my father had spoken! Promptly, I walked back into my room, got back in bed, covered myself with my blankets and immediately went fast asleep as the Squall, lightning, thunder and the blaring sirens continued unabated! Holy Smokes! Pay attention the Father speaks and everything – yes everything has a purpose! God wanted me to never forget that night!
Why I ask? Yes Lord – for you today! We are living in just such a Squall only it is a man made storm on purpose! The Great deceiver is working at deceiving humanity! Yes he is! I was born for this day and so were you!
Every time Jesus met his disciples his first words were “do not be afraid” and “peace be with you”! Yea he knew our humanity – he was there the day humanity male and female were created! He knows us inside and out!! We can not hide from Him!
And yes, yes, he loves us exactly where we are – yes even in the middle of the storm when we are caught red handed helping the great deceiver lead us down a fantasy trail into the bolt of lightning and fire!
Teach your children the Truth – you can be the best news your children and grand children and even great grand children can ever encounter!
So Friday the Good Lord sent me a 40+ year old inmate who was adopted as a baby yet
drugs took him on a journey where the Good Lord gave him to me as a gift and treasure!
I encourage each of you to become that treasure yourself where. Fear is replaced with peace! Yea an encounter with Jesus in the boat sleeping in the midst of a squall!
You know I gave this reflection to inmates in a State Prison.  English and Spanish.  One Spanish inmate did not speak English and so it was with Faith and Trust I asked the other Hispanic inmates to relay the story!

Squall and Jesus Asleep in the Boat:

Usual for me!! Went to prison today! Group growing slowly! New Hispanic inmate today brought to my Catholic service by a brother Muslim friend! Abraham had two sons!
Two weeks before another brother inmate attended! Discovered he was adopted! Drugs and the addiction the normal partner married to drugs blinded the ability to see destination prison!
Being stretched because one inmate does not speak English! Having to develop habit to stop talking and ask my Hispanic brothers to provide him with an update on what was discussed!
Jesus in a boat! Squall comes up – rough seas and Jesus is asleep! Disciples in disbelief – wake up Jesus!
Holy Smokes!! Words I use when it dawns on me a life experience!
I was in 3rd or 4th grade! Home town just installed Sirens in town to warn citizens that rockets had been launched and are on the way to the USA! My dad’s factory participated in a civil defense drill! Objective: Turn on the sirens, evacuate the factory and the town to the country side to test the evacuation system.
For a young kid this was serious stuff!
Every Thursday at 11 AM the towns sirens were tested! Oh boy this certainly drove the point home for this kid!!!
Later that summer during the night a squall storm was passing over our town. Lightning and thunder exploded everywhere! The rain drops came pouring! I was doing pretty good in bed until the Sirens began blasting in the night!  I squirmed in bed thinking about the reason for the sirens in the first place! I began wondering when my dad would come and get me, my brother and mother and take to the country hills safe from the coming rockets! I was sweating!
Dad when you coming?  Dad — Dad when you coming??  Anxieity running wild!
Finally I got out of bed – went to mom and dad’s bedroom to wake my dad! Oh boy was I afraid! I knew when someone woke my dad he might come up swinging! Yikes! Yet my fear and anxiety caused me to shake him anyway! When my dad woke up- I quickly told him about the sirens blasting!!!
I will never forget my dad’s reaction – to be continued!

Archangel – Spirit – Messenger
Wings – Fly- Spirit

Choir Sings:

Oh Raphael, of Raphael, where art thou Raphael?  Oh my Raphael has wondered into the darkness and been fooled by the Great transition deceiver! The most cunning and deceptive spirit who seeks to lead souls into the fantasy, illusion and imaginary world focused on owning the tree of knowledge and proudly claim the power of self re-creation.

I am Michael a voice created and called to pursue the fallen spirits roaming about the world seeking the ruin of unsuspecting souls in the land of the living.
I Michael am seeking courageous souls old old old and young young young to join with me in the great quest to save Raphael from the world’s most recent selfie version of illusions created by the most famous deceiver of all time. Yes the same great deceiver who got his start in the very beginning of creation. From nothingness into the mystery in the garden, the tree in the garden, all the while surrounded the essence of the spiritual breath of life. I am sent – a messenger of hope to call and set Raphael free of the earthly imagery and illusions that bond and hold him hostage.

The message is ancient and sings: Come back to me with your whole heart, mind, body, emotions and soul. 3-1 in one! One can not separate what was created at the instant of conception!

The Culture of Death

is the great deceiver’s modern day agenda – the spiritual reality and purpose of the one flesh and procreation the great deceiver’s targets!

Speaking in Foreign Tongues:

It appears to me after a dozen years I speak in a” foreign tongue” to modern man.

My description of the on going current “Spiritual War” unfolding in the modern world is to describe it as a “War against God’s Design for Humanity”!  I get essentially zero “0” comments or feed back.

The Devil’s Agenda:

The Devil’s agenda can best be described in modern man’s attack against God’s One Flesh design as articulated using the letters  “LBGTQ +++”!  Yes exactly!

Why I ask can no one respond to my description positive or negative?  Do I exist?  Could I be missing the mark or is it possible the “Truth” can not be controverted without risk or a lack of courage exists among so many to take the risk necessary to stand up for the “Truth”?

Recent Example:  Harrison Buckner’s Speech

https://www.cnn.com/2024/05/16/sport/harrison-butker-commencement-speech-analysis-cec/index.html

CNN bulwark of Truth – says who?

Reminder Jesus Christ constantly and continually calls each and every individual by name.  The sinner is not condemned.  Perhaps in the sinner’s mind something more difficult is asked of them?  “Turn around“!  Oh my!  “Come back to me says the Lord“!  With your whole, mind, body, soul, spirit and yes – “all your being“!  Yes a confrontation takes place as “In the Beginning“!  Yes, yes, yes and yes, the original flaw of humanity revels the stubbornness of the human heart and the stiffness of the human neck!

I ask myself?  Harrison Buckner’s Speech was far more extensive than, my to the point description and he is being attacked relentlessly!  Hot hot hot topic among those who support humanities replacement of God’s design with modern man’s “Selfie Individual Truth

Grandson Graduation – Holy Smokes Surprise:

The Ancient Spirit always present – manifested a Surprise:

My wife and I drove to my grandson’s graduation from College event at his school.  Got there early for the event to meet up with his parents and sisters.  It was held in the building facility where basketball game were hosted and adequate seating was available.  I suspect the school turned the air conditioning down in anticipation of a large crowd.  Sure enough for this old man it was cold.  The blood thinner I am taking surely was not a helpful factor regarding my ability to stay warm.  After finding our seats we sat down.  Wasn’t long this old man had to get up and walk around to stay warm before the event began.  Up and at it – walking – er- pacing the balcony above the basketball floor I went.

Amen – Finally here they come:

Finally the procession of professors, teachers, staff and students of all ages began.  I stopped new one of the cameras used to display the unfolding event of two big screens so all could see better.  Yep, as I watched my grandson processed in with his classmates.  About time and I was still a cold old man!  I decided to stay put higher up where the air should be warmer than down on the floor of the building.

I stood at the rail overlooking the event standing next to the camera man and to my left was another younger gentleman with a mustache standing at the same rail.  I imagined he had a child graduating with this 2024 class.  After all faculty, staff and students were seated, which took a long while, I finally asked?  Do you have a student who is graduating?  Yes I do was the answer.  His name Caden.  And you sir, who are you here for?  I said my grandson is graduating today!

You gotta be kidding me – someone pinch me!

His response to me was immediate:  Garrett is my son’s roommate!  No way!  Just on our way in to the event we ran into a lady whose name was Kim and she was just a kid back in 1983 when we moved into our new home in Fayetteville, Georgia.  I was told Kim was the mother of my grandson’s roommate.  There she was down below sitting in an isle seat.  The roommates mom and dad I meet minutes apart and she was my neighbors kid in 1983 –  Yea 41 years ago.  Holy Smokes!   

Story continues to unfold:

I am not done!  Next this man named Mike told me he played baseball in high school and when he cam to pick up his girl friend he saw a batting cage in my back yard!  My mind rushed back to the August 3rd ATC strike of 1981Six day weeks and 10 hour days made it impossible for me to coach or help coach their youth baseball teams.  In-order to do something positive to help them I purchased a batting cage and pitching machine to take advantage of my limited time I had to help them with their chosen sport.  Who I ask would take notice and remember all these years later a batting cage?

There is this Spirit that ties us all together if only:

How is it I ask?  Just how is it that the journey of life 41 years later would one day bring together people separated in time.  There son and my grandson roommates for four years!   Parents and grandparents untied in the same celebration at the same time and place!  The Holy Spirit had to set this whole thing up!

 

 

Listening: Synod: 10 Years Versus 3 Sessions:

Do Our Ears Work?:

Going to Catholic Synod listening session tonight! Have been reflecting upon this process since it was first proposed about 3 years ago. For me one of the results of my reflection is I began the Synod process of listening starting back in the late 1980’s.
What triggered my connection to the Synod process was when I was asked to do a ministry that made me “UNCOMFORTABLE”! Yikes! So how did the Good Lord lead me there?
Well my brother called me on the phone and informed me our cousin of my Aunt Jane had HIV and was suffering with AIDS. It hit me in the face! “What can I do to help him”? He lived in Chicago and I lived in the Atlanta area.
So I started searching around for what I could do. I ran across Sister Margaret McAnoy at the Shrine of Immaculate Conception in Atlanta. I called her up and asked, “What can I do”? So began 10 years of traveling to the heart of Atlanta on Tuesday nights to the basement of the Shrine!

When Uncomfortable do we Listen more Intently:?

First night! Got there early! Oh they served a meal to people with HIV on Tuesday nights. I was there to help deliver the meals to the tables of the people who came. Honest!!! I was fearful because at the time no one knew how the HIV virus was passed. I stood there with my back up against the wall watching. My body was pressing hard against the wall! Yes it was! I still remember.

Oh my – Called and Sent:

One of the volunteers that night had eyes that could see my loud communication! He came over to me and asked? “Why are you here”? Heck I didn’t know it at the time – “I was called and sent to learn how to listen”. I told him about my brothers call and my response. He didn’t seem satisfied with my answer!
All I can say is the Holy Spirit was working! Because I then asked asked him if there were any other AIDS / HIV ministries in Atlanta?

Tears – What is Happening to me:?

Well yes he said. After I serve here I am going to the Good Samaritan Project where people gather to support people suffering with HIV / AIDS! Can I follow you I asked?
For the next ten years my training “in earnest” began! I could not have told anyone at the time because I had not figured out just what the Good Lord was doing to me.
How did I discover this truth? On my drive home from downtown Atlanta I would pass by the Atlanta Fulton County Stadium. By the time I was passing the Stadium “Great Bid Crock-a-dial Tears were streaming down my checks”!
My prayer – “Lord what is happening to me”? What are these tears about?
Today I can tell you! I was learning how to listen with my spiritual eyes and see with my spiritual ears!
Some of you may think this story is complete. No no no – No way! the Good Lord just had cut a new pathway into my heart!
But yes – way back in 1990 I entered the spiritual school as a unknowing student being trained to learn how in the use of ones spiritual eyes and ears!

The Journey Continues:

More to the Story: To be continued:!!! Yet this very day I reenter the story again!

Can we See? Long Missing – Good News Arrives:

One of the things I learn in prison is: We people often have ears and eyes that simply can’t hear or see!! Case in point!
1. Brought good news pictures of freed inmate recently marriage and celebrating birth on new baby daughter to share.
2. Great surpriseyoung man shows up who has been missing for more than a year! I recognize face but old me can’t find the name!
Previously, he only came for a few months and then disappeared! Discovered the reason he didn’t come is because he found a unique way to get into trouble within the prison resulting in more punishment keeping him from coming! NOW Just HOW Slow are your EARS and EYES????? Evidence of Good News is standing in our Face!!
3. Next thing I know old inmate is complaining about wanting to hear good uplifting news!!!
Yes folks sometimes we are both death and blind!
4. I don’t have to go to prison to visit yet somehow I have managed to make weekly visits since 2010 with a forced COVID break!  Yet I too can stumble!
5. Buried in this message is Good News Shouting! Yes yes yes – He came to die for me! Yes yes yes He told me I would be rejected! Yes yes yes He loves you in the midst of your Sin! Yes yes yes He doesn’t give up when we get discouraged!
6. Yes yes yes He is calling you right now!!! Hmmm. How your eyes and ears doing?
7. Thank you Lord for the Cross – the only way to open the Door where the Narrow Gate is hidden!
8. Yea “Merry Christmas” Yep he came for you and me too! Say this prayer: Help me Lord do your Will! Often I am not so sure I am!! God loves you where you are this moment regardless of your Sin!
Amen:

Parole = Hope:

Visited prison yesterday! One inmate got good news! The parole board tentatively approved his parole!
So what happens next??
A ninety day open to voices that may oppose his release begins. Often this process results in over riding the parole board’s recommendation! Roller coaster ride – the next ninety days! This inmate has been incarcerated 32 years. He has been in prison since age 20.
If he is successful in being paroled the recidivism rate can be as high as 80 % which is testimony to the great difficulty the long incarcerated face when set free!
Prayers please! Next ninety days emotional roller coaster ride along with uncertainty of the outcome!
Few venture & walk where I tread!
My prayer: What do you have in mind for me today Lord!!!

The Roman Empire Self Destructs: Hmmm America Today

We are witnessing the war and destruction of American Values and Principles everyday in so called elite universities and colleges!

Fools logic!  Make no mistake no human being can change gender the specific great deceiver war against the Christian Truth proclaimed by Jesus Christ Himself! Procreation and the One Flesh design as “In the Beginning” is the prime target of the current political Marxist movement in our nation!

What? Decolonization?  What is that?  Decolonization is supported by the current Democratic Party leadership!  Can we connect the Dots?

Abort babies by every means possible under any circumstance clearly articulates every means possible without consideration of reality or God’s design. LBGTQ is in lock step with this war! Those who celebrate the LBGTQ movement and gender choice agenda are guilty of supporting the Great Deceivers War against God’s design for humanity!

The Border – the Border:

The open border decision allows the mass transfer drugs purposely targeting young American children and young adults! Are we asleep?  Yes decolonization is politically supported by the Political establishment!

We stand as witness’s to our own self destructive nature = Sin! Check around and you will find even people who refer to themselves as devout Catholic’s celebrating the great deceivers War against life itself!

By any means possible includes the Great Deceivers agenda – embrace sin – decolonization and replacement of people using every method including science, doctors who remove healthy organs to satisfy the Devils War!  All the while proclaiming man has replaced God’s design with selfie self focused purely on emotions and feelings!

Our Nation and many of our top leaders have aligned themselves with the Devil’s agenda! Yes folks this is an intense War humanity has not encountered in previous generations!

The next battlefield and new weapon is upon us!  Artificial Intelligence a non living entity:  AI will reside within a non living technical invention humans will begin to worship and will not be able to live without!  The Smart Phone has arrivedThe arrival of  modern man’s newest God and is now establishing it’s worship among foolish vulnerable young while simultaneous the long war against the One Flesh design is reaching record epidemic levels of destruction to protect God’s design to safe guard the truththrough the protection of the One Flesh!