Category Archives: Troy’s Kids


Ten or more years ago I planted Walnut Trees on a new 34 acre property my wife and I purchased. This week October 3, 2022 I stopped by the property for a look see. As I drove by the Walnut Trees I noticed some had green walnuts hanging in the branches. Upon further investigation I found numerous Walnuts had fallen to the ground. I began to pick them up one or two at a time. Before I knew I had a bucket full.

I took them home and on the way I began to reflect upon the walnuts hidden inside the husks. Some still green and others had already turned black. What to do? How does one recover the nut hidden inside the husk? After watching a video I ventured into trying to de-husk the walnuts.

Oh woe is me!! I filled the bucket with water, began to stir the walnuts in hope the husks would fall apart. No such luck! So next I tried using a spoon handle to extract the husks from the nuts. Those that had already tuned black peeled rather easily. Those that were still green no suck luck. Before I knew it I had soaked my hands in the raw walnut soup I had created. Oh Oh!! I pulled my hands out for a moment! My Oh My – my hands are black!!

Quickly to the sink with warm water and soap! No luck, no luck, no such luck! Next to my handy computer – search “how clean walnut stain from skin” I pray – yes I pray!!

Stain stain go away – black hands I pray! I began to reflect upon my youth when my dad took me to a large house near the street. It had a huge walnut tree near the street. It was in the fall. My dad showed me all the walnuts – multiples of walnuts covered the ground. I still remember, I was just a kid 7 or 8. My dad told me the walnuts could stain things but that memory hit me just a little late at 80 years old.  Just a kid and I remember — Yikes I have black hands!

White Vinegar next, hydrogen peroxide next, vegetable oil next, warm water and soft scrub and brush! Lord have mercy the stain remains! I am a marked man and my wife will be home so very soon! Lord have mercy!

Ah sucks — Not going to be able to hide this stain!

Well! I surrendered! The good Lord had giving me a blessing to reflect upon – a stain that wouldn’t go away soon! What’s this all about Lord?

Nature and the Holy Spirit speak through the nature of a walnut! Yes I know how crazy “a Walnut”!! It has a hard husk to protect the growing nut inside as it grows and develops. Oh yes, as the walnut matures over time the walnut husk begins to turn black slowly and finally falls to the earth.

It lays patiently waiting for someone like me to find and pick it up – completely depending upon curiosity to investigate! Yes a hard husk to protect it as it matures and then begins to soften into a mush with a unique ability to stain one’s skin. Yet hidden inside a real treat – yes protected by the hard hard shell of the walnut as if to protect it’s heart!

The gift and treasure within in hiding! Nutrients with the potential to sustain life. Imagine two hard layers of protect the inner core – the heart of the Walnut. Given time the shell will soften and disintegrate back into the earth. To die and be transformed as nutrients so that future new life can be reborn again! And yes the gift to the taste buds – the walnut provides the needed nutrients to sustain there treasure of new life more abundant for those with eyes to see and mind willing to open to the potential hidden within a very hard husk!

New Beginnings

Hey to Lily and Molly!  July 2023, beginning of new adventures.  Junior in College, my how time flies.  Graduation from High School with dreams of new adventures in College and the world.

What am I going to be when I grow up?  Whom am I?

Was asking my self that question over 60 years ago.  Never dreamed I would do the things I have.  Never dreamed one day I would program computers in the Nations busiest Air Traffic Facilities.  Never dreamed I would make changes to the software program “on the fly” (real time).  Nervous and jerky was I!  I knew it wouldn’t take long for the computer to give me the answer out if my changes worked.

Dreams — Today, Tomorrow, and Unexpected:

So it is today in 2023, I wonder what will unfold in the world of your dreams are wrapped up?  I wonder if I will ever even find out what your dreams are?  I wonder if you are able to see and articulate the “Spiritual War” that is raging and unfolding as I write this post?

Barriers Unseen – the Nature of Humanity:

Hidden within human nature barriers exist!  Stumbling blocks await!  Wounds and hurts accumulated especially as a child unaware.  Have not heard a word from your mother since 2006 or so.  Intense is my description!  Kinda like being fully awake and alert and one enters the code into a computer with fingers crossed all the while trusting in a gift one was born with yet having no idea until later in life!

Forgiveness – Really – Is it Possible?:

The real test of growing up and becoming mature!  When one reaches 50 years a testimony has been clearly articulated.  Multiple phone calls and trips speaking without using words – one who pursues even when rejected “Forgives”.  Not so easy to understand or accept!

Hope One Day to Hear your Voices:

Walking Dead:

Funny title!!!  But so true in many ways.  To be specifically something with a title yet to be held at arms length!  Kinda like having “BO” but you don’t know it!  Yikes – I must stink!

An Encounter with the Walking Dead:

Sometimes words just get in the way!  Another funny thing we can speech even more powerfully by what we do.  Made many trips to Newnan, Georgia for example.  Yikes – traveled to the bowels of Atlanta from 1990-2000 during the HIV/AIDS crises sitting among people who thought the disease was a death sentence.  Uncomfortable is the word.  The place one can hear the voice of the soul crying out!  There I encountered people who thought they were the walking dead.

Imagine Jesus Christ the very first Walking Dead and then Jesus calling us to follow!  Yep!  He had but a single requirement – Oh man – pick up your cross and follow me!  A Dead Man – the Living Bread who told us I have life because of the Father.  Do you suppose He came so we might have New Life even when it seems clear we are held at arms length (rejected might be a better word) as though we have some sort of serious disease?

Yes He came to start a fire!  To do this he became human like us!  We can not separate Jesus from His mother Mary!  Yep a woman – no man or male could replace.

Body, Blood, Soul all part of a mixture –> the Divine Plan of Salvation.

Jesus the Lamb!  Do we know what a lamb is?  A young sheep – a prime source to be sacrificed – food for the body — oh and Jesus slaughtered / sacrificed by human with souls!  We bring our own broken nature every where we go!  Where I ask do we take this broken spirit / soul that cries out to be transformed and healed?  To who do we go?

Buried and Hidden Treasure:

Where oh where do we look to find this buried and hidden treasure?  In a cross?  In communion, unity, the Eucharistic Sacrifice!  Come to me all you who hunger and thirst!  Come to me all you who seek healing of Body, mind and soul!

Consider wax is heated until it melts!  Then and only then can it be poured as melted wax and transformed into the Body of Christ!  Yes the Church!

Discernment – wow – a word that requires transformation and understanding.  Attitude, heart, spirit, broken all necessary to enter into communion – one body!

Women – Mother Church

Everything flows through Mary, the human whose “Yes” opened the door for God to enter into human flesh.  Born to walk in this world!  The die in this world!

And Yes to become the first Dead Man Walking and Talking!

I hope and pray – have faith and trust – yes this very Jesus has lead me on a journey of the walking dead!



Congratulations Molly

Hey Molly

Time to begin in earnest the entry into the adult world after High School.  Congratulations!

College gives you a few more years to delay your entry.  We wish you well and pray for your folks!

Hope one day you can find the time to actually meet my wife and I.  Yea, like or not, we are your grand parents!  We would love to meet you one day!

Human natures resistance is in the wind from the beginning!


To Molly

Hey Molly.  “Moefrancis”  Pretty much I have oh so little of an idea of who you are or what you dream of.  It’s not an accident that happened.

My wife and I came to the hospital the day you were born.   While I was there I called my son, your dad’s brother Todd, so he and his wife would know you were born.  I hoped they would have chance to come as well.  Think I can conclude in 2023 that didn’t go over so well reflecting back.  Not at all sure why but history tells a story one cannot deny!

Christmas Visit – Where is Molly:

My wife and I came to your house at Christmas when you were a baby – I guess you were about nine months old.  Your mother was upstairs with you.  Your dad told us you were sick,  Your mother never came down to visit with us that day.  Never encountered anything like that before.

High Chair Girl:

My wife and I came to your house again, you were in a high chair ( maybe you were around two years old)  at the supper table.  Pretty darn sparse visits I would say!  Have no idea what you might have thought or were told about that day??

Gosh, I am going to have to reflect some on that visit.  My best recollection is it wasn’t a smooth visit like when people sit down and visit because they are happy to see each other.  Not necessarily unwelcome but not welcome either.

Pretty much that’s it!  So I guess you are now 18 years old and about to graduate from High School.  My wife and I have received any notice or invitation in regard to your graduation.  Based upon the past many years that is disappointing but nor a surprise.

So Why Persist?:

So, why the heck am I writing this post??  Guess I never stopped thinking of you and wondered how one day I might be able to communicate with you?

Fast Forward 2023:

At the moment this is best I can do!  I confess I admit years of sustained failure!  Visited your house 3 time in 2023!  No joy!  No success.  No one came to the door but I did hear dogs bark.  I have no idea how you would know this?  I can only hope you might believe me!

My Grand Father – My Name:

When I was a kid my mother’s dad – my grandpa lived with us for around six years.  He was moved from one of his kids homes to another, mostly to my house.  The reason was he had had a stroke.  He could find his way around town to where he wanted to go.  He just couldn’t always find his way back home.  He almost didn’t talk to me during those years even though my mother told me I was his favorite.  I was named after him “Tilton Cheney” – “TC”.

My Grand Fathers Death:

When I was 13, my mother told me he was going to die that night.  I still remember sitting at the bottom of the steps in our / his old house.    Somehow he made it through that night.  The next day my folks took me to see him at a nursing home.  They went into his room first and had me stay outside!  Guess they wanted to make sure it was OK for me to go in.  Soon my mom came and got me into the room.  My grandpa was in bed!  What took my breath away was he began to talk to me like nothing had ever happened to him!  He told me he was going to take me hunting and fishing – things he loved to do.  My throat got tied up in a knot and I couldn’t speak.

More Worried about me than Death itself:

Later after we left and even to this day, I think my grandpa was far more worried about me than he was about death.  I think he knew he was going to die soon.  He rallied himself to talk to me in a genuine effort to make me feel at ease and to not be afraid.  He was think more about me than he was himself.  Yes he died later that night.

Why do I write:?

So why do I write this?  When I was a kid there was no way for me to understand what my grand father had been through or understand how much he loved me!  Just no way!  Now I am 80 and only now can I begin to understand the cost of lost time when one has little control over the circumstances in play.


Would one day love to talk to you!  Perhaps I will never get such a chance!  One does not always have control over the opening or closing of the doorway where real relationships are formed.  Even human has issues and handicaps.  I have mine and your mom and dad each have their own!  Most often those handicaps can not be seen only encountered.

Just maybe you may recall the many phone calls I made to your house – never having anyone answer.  Often leaving a message and never getting a call back.  Making a trip every month after open heart surgery – knocking of the door – hearing kids inside cry – no one came to the door.

You were just a Kid:

Heck you were a little kid!  Pretty sure eventually I communicated frustration at the welcoming recorded message that not a single time ever returned a call.

My prayer is somehow, you can learn from the mistakes made (mine and others) and not repeat any of them.

Wish things where different!  But so far no Joy!  But “Hope” lives!  How do I know?  I am writing you this post!  Forgiveness is too often impossible!  I ask you to forgive me and anyone else who assisted in this failure of becoming family!

May God Bless you, your mom, your dad, and your sister.