Category Archives: Spiritual Reflections

Reflections

Listening: Synod: 10 Years Versus 3 Sessions:

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Do Our Ears Work?:

Going to Catholic Synod listening session tonight! Have been reflecting upon this process since it was first proposed about 3 years ago. For me one of the results of my reflection is I began the Synod process of listening starting back in the late 1980’s.
What triggered my connection to the Synod process was when I was asked to do a ministry that made me “UNCOMFORTABLE”! Yikes! So how did the Good Lord lead me there?
Well my brother called me on the phone and informed me our cousin of my Aunt Jane had HIV and was suffering with AIDS. It hit me in the face! “What can I do to help him”? He lived in Chicago and I lived in the Atlanta area.
So I started searching around for what I could do. I ran across Sister Margaret McAnoy at the Shrine of Immaculate Conception in Atlanta. I called her up and asked, “What can I do”? So began 10 years of traveling to the heart of Atlanta on Tuesday nights to the basement of the Shrine!

When Uncomfortable do we Listen more Intently:?

First night! Got there early! Oh they served a meal to people with HIV on Tuesday nights. I was there to help deliver the meals to the tables of the people who came. Honest!!! I was fearful because at the time no one knew how the HIV virus was passed. I stood there with my back up against the wall watching. My body was pressing hard against the wall! Yes it was! I still remember.

Oh my – Called and Sent:

One of the volunteers that night had eyes that could see my loud communication! He came over to me and asked? “Why are you here”? Heck I didn’t know it at the time – “I was called and sent to learn how to listen”. I told him about my brothers call and my response. He didn’t seem satisfied with my answer!
All I can say is the Holy Spirit was working! Because I then asked asked him if there were any other AIDS / HIV ministries in Atlanta?

Tears – What is Happening to me:?

Well yes he said. After I serve here I am going to the Good Samaritan Project where people gather to support people suffering with HIV / AIDS! Can I follow you I asked?
For the next ten years my training “in earnest” began! I could not have told anyone at the time because I had not figured out just what the Good Lord was doing to me.
How did I discover this truth? On my drive home from downtown Atlanta I would pass by the Atlanta Fulton County Stadium. By the time I was passing the Stadium “Great Bid Crock-a-dial Tears were streaming down my checks”!
My prayer – “Lord what is happening to me”? What are these tears about?
Today I can tell you! I was learning how to listen with my spiritual eyes and see with my spiritual ears!
Some of you may think this story is complete. No no no – No way! the Good Lord just had cut a new pathway into my heart!
But yes – way back in 1990 I entered the spiritual school as a unknowing student being trained to learn how in the use of ones spiritual eyes and ears!

The Journey Continues:

More to the Story: To be continued:!!! Yet this very day I reenter the story again!

Can we See? Long Missing – Good News Arrives:

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One of the things I learn in prison is: We people often have ears and eyes that simply can’t hear or see!! Case in point!
1. Brought good news pictures of freed inmate recently marriage and celebrating birth on new baby daughter to share.
2. Great surprise – young man shows up who has been missing for more than a year! I recognize face but old me can’t find the name!
Previously, he only came for a few months and then disappeared! Discovered the reason he didn’t come is because he found a unique way to get into trouble within the prison resulting in more punishment keeping him from coming! NOW Just HOW Slow are your EARS and EYES????? Evidence of Good News is standing in our Face!!
3. Next thing I know old inmate is complaining about wanting to hear good uplifting news!!!
Yes folks sometimes we are both death and blind!
4. I don’t have to go to prison to visit yet somehow I have managed to make weekly visits since 2010 with a forced COVID break!  Yet I too can stumble!
5. Buried in this message is Good News Shouting! Yes yes yes – He came to die for me! Yes yes yes He told me I would be rejected! Yes yes yes He loves you in the midst of your Sin! Yes yes yes He doesn’t give up when we get discouraged!
6. Yes yes yes He is calling you right now!!! Hmmm. How your eyes and ears doing?
7. Thank you Lord for the Cross – the only way to open the Door where the Narrow Gate is hidden!
8. Yea “Merry Christmas” Yep he came for you and me too! Say this prayer: Help me Lord do your Will! Often I am not so sure I am!! God loves you where you are this moment regardless of your Sin!
Amen:

The Roman Empire Self Destructs: Hmmm America Today

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We are witnessing the war and destruction of American Values and Principles everyday in so called elite universities and colleges!

Fools logic!  Make no mistake no human being can change gender the specific great deceiver war against the Christian Truth proclaimed by Jesus Christ Himself! Procreation and the One Flesh design as “In the Beginning” is the prime target of the current political Marxist movement in our nation!

What? Decolonization?  What is that?  Decolonization is supported by the current Democratic Party leadership!  Can we connect the Dots?

Abort babies by every means possible under any circumstance clearly articulates every means possible without consideration of reality or God’s design. LBGTQ is in lock step with this war! Those who celebrate the LBGTQ movement and gender choice agenda are guilty of supporting the Great Deceivers War against God’s design for humanity!

The Border – the Border:

The open border decision allows the mass transfer drugs purposely targeting young American children and young adults! Are we asleep?  Yes decolonization is politically supported by the Political establishment!

We stand as witness’s to our own self destructive nature = Sin! Check around and you will find even people who refer to themselves as devout Catholic’s celebrating the great deceivers War against life itself!

By any means possible includes the Great Deceivers agenda – embrace sin – decolonization and replacement of people using every method including science, doctors who remove healthy organs to satisfy the Devils War!  All the while proclaiming man has replaced God’s design with selfie self focused purely on emotions and feelings!

Our Nation and many of our top leaders have aligned themselves with the Devil’s agenda! Yes folks this is an intense War humanity has not encountered in previous generations!

The next battlefield and new weapon is upon us!  Artificial Intelligence a non living entity:  AI will reside within a non living technical invention humans will begin to worship and will not be able to live without!  The Smart Phone has arrived.  The arrival of  modern man’s newest God and is now establishing it’s worship among foolish vulnerable young while simultaneous the long war against the One Flesh design is reaching record epidemic levels of destruction to protect God’s design to safe guard the truth — through the protection of the One Flesh!

Thought Provoking: Blessing Irregular Couples

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Finding it thought provoking that the issue regarding blessing irregular couples seems to hand cuffed the leadership of the Catholic Church from addressing the over ridding Spiritual War against God’s design from “In the beginning”!
That design is described as the “One Flesh” which encompasses the very best solution to teaching and the education of children from the earliest of ages!
The ordained priests have for ages used the title “Father”!  They seem to have no understanding in the modern world of the true Fathers design for Father and Mother!
Focus is on irregular the couples issue?  Seems to me this issues is best addressing at the earliest ages long considered the time to Baptize babies.
So what is it the Catholic Church says to parents?  Expressing the hope that can exist in the first and the best teachers?  How about we get back to the basic’s of defining God’s design for the “One Flesh” in a world marriage is in decline as “Sin” abounds within the human family as “selfie self” has taken over the reigns of the leadership of the oldest Church?
Hmmm – how much danger am I in and from whom?
Make no mistake the “One” who brought me back to life has spoken!
Yea – and he spoke “pick up your cross and come follow me”! Yes, yes!  Joy is buried somewhere in the cross – the doorway lies hidden and only in the darkness of suffering can serve as the flashlight so the suffer can find the doorway in the dark!
Amen!

Courage – Found looking into the Mirror of Truth:

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When I mention courage I must remind myself I was called to testify to the truth! Some want and seek to redefine truth to justify serious sin! Takes place on FB each and everyday!
In 2011 God gave me a vision and a call to testify to the Spiritual War unfolding in the world!  Yes and this War is unfolding within the Catholic Church itself this very day!
In 2011 I myself was caught up in a mighty struggl that required deep reflection struggling to understand God message to me in a real life real time vision.  I discovered the life of child within held the secret to interpret and understand simply because of my boyhood journey long ago!
Yes, way back when I already knew what I needed to know I just didn’t understand it in the proper Spiritual sense!
Ever since I have been asking the Lord daily!  Discovered too my truck is my chapel where a candid dialogue takes place everywhere I go!  Why me Lord! Heck I have no real power! I have no authority over but so very few! I am called to be only a servant! Hmmm?  Maybe I don’t know what a servant is?
The same message jusat keeps on comes back – “Pick up your cross and come follow me says the Lord”. Again and again I ask – Where is it we are going Lord?  Oh yea – That place – that place your Son was sent – no more sermons place! Oh my!  Yes Lord I will follow!
In 2024 my journey continues looking for courage, leadership and grace from those appointed to lead me!  Oh my – yes they are caught up in this Spiritual War as well!
Yes Yes – We have been and are in a mean spirited “Spiritual War”!  Gosh, it has been unfolding in my life for at least 13 years and yes in the Church the Lord called me to serve!
Not so surprising I find myself held at “arms length” by leaders in my Church as though I am a leper!  Why was Jesus rejected?  “Rebuke” isn’t right out of scripture the method of the Lord to communicate Love when one strays into sin!
Silence is defining!  Silence a sign of lack of courage to speak, a lack of courage to rebuke, a lack of courage to encourage or even ask “How are things going”?  This is exactly what I have encountered for the last eight years!
Am I failing?  Do I lack courage?  What the heck should I do Lord?  The inability to respond seems to wrap it’s arms around me!   No doubt – I am not alone in this War!  I call it the lack of courage to do the right thing! Rebuke me where I am in error or honor my Ordination! Clearly silence communicates Neither is the case!  Neither positive or negative!
At times I wonder if I will have a single friend outside my family!
There is no doubt in my mind the good Lord called and sent me long ago into the fire of the modern battle long ago as in 1990. I could not have told anyone at that time! Today I know I was primarily the student – sent to be taught – sent so my spiritual ears could learn hear souls crying as real people were facing death!  Yea me – I was simply powerless to do much except listen and encourage those suffering to look for meaning in the unfolding journey.
Let me assure the reader!  The Lord was and is not done with me yet! In 2011 he sent me into prison to walk through a room full of young men! My eyes and ears trained many years ago told me something was seriously amiss among these young men! Here I am again Lord – a student again! Yes My eyes and ears are open to receive!

Walnuts:

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Ten or more years ago I planted Walnut Trees on a new 34 acre property my wife and I purchased. This week October 3, 2022 I stopped by the property for a look see. As I drove by the Walnut Trees I noticed some had green walnuts hanging in the branches. Upon further investigation I found numerous Walnuts had fallen to the ground. I began to pick them up one or two at a time. Before I knew I had a bucket full.

I took them home and on the way I began to reflect upon the walnuts hidden inside the husks. Some still green and others had already turned black. What to do? How does one recover the nut hidden inside the husk? After watching a video I ventured into trying to de-husk the walnuts.

Oh woe is me!! I filled the bucket with water, began to stir the walnuts in hope the husks would fall apart. No such luck! So next I tried using a spoon handle to extract the husks from the nuts. Those that had already tuned black peeled rather easily. Those that were still green no suck luck. Before I knew it I had soaked my hands in the raw walnut soup I had created. Oh Oh!! I pulled my hands out for a moment! My Oh My – my hands are black!!

Quickly to the sink with warm water and soap! No luck, no luck, no such luck! Next to my handy computer – search “how clean walnut stain from skin” I pray – yes I pray!!

Stain stain go away – black hands I pray! I began to reflect upon my youth when my dad took me to a large house near the street. It had a huge walnut tree near the street. It was in the fall. My dad showed me all the walnuts – multiples of walnuts covered the ground. I still remember, I was just a kid 7 or 8. My dad told me the walnuts could stain things but that memory hit me just a little late at 80 years old.  Just a kid and I remember — Yikes I have black hands!

White Vinegar next, hydrogen peroxide next, vegetable oil next, warm water and soft scrub and brush! Lord have mercy the stain remains! I am a marked man and my wife will be home so very soon! Lord have mercy!

Ah sucks — Not going to be able to hide this stain!

Well! I surrendered! The good Lord had giving me a blessing to reflect upon – a stain that wouldn’t go away soon! What’s this all about Lord?

Nature and the Holy Spirit speak through the nature of a walnut! Yes I know how crazy “a Walnut”!! It has a hard husk to protect the growing nut inside as it grows and develops. Oh yes, as the walnut matures over time the walnut husk begins to turn black slowly and finally falls to the earth.

It lays patiently waiting for someone like me to find and pick it up – completely depending upon curiosity to investigate! Yes a hard husk to protect it as it matures and then begins to soften into a mush with a unique ability to stain one’s skin. Yet hidden inside a real treat – yes protected by the hard hard shell of the walnut as if to protect it’s heart!

The gift and treasure within in hiding! Nutrients with the potential to sustain life. Imagine two hard layers of protect the inner core – the heart of the Walnut. Given time the shell will soften and disintegrate back into the earth. To die and be transformed as nutrients so that future new life can be reborn again! And yes the gift to the taste buds – the walnut provides the needed nutrients to sustain there treasure of new life more abundant for those with eyes to see and mind willing to open to the potential hidden within a very hard husk!

At Heart ability to find Home / Unbelievable Escape Vision 5

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As the bird sped down toward the lake – No Way No Way my mind raced:

Unbelievable the bird made a last second maneuver.  It skimmed the surface of the Lake and then pulled up into the air!  Amazing!  How’d the bird do that?  What the hey!  Oh yes, Oh yes, what I already knew was reveled.  Yes, the bird has twelve tail feathers! The rudder that guides the bird allowing the bird to escape it’s enemies and yes death!

The Power of Twelve:

Twelve tail feathers – twelve disciples any chance – any chance at all?  As a kid I already knew!  Oh man – the good Lord gave me this vision to remind and teach me again!

The Heart of the Matter:

Did you know a racing pigeon / dove has a wattle of it’s nose?  Yes it is in the shape of a Heart!  The wattle is white in color the symbol of purity.

Scientists believe the Homing Pigeon uses this organ to orientate / mark it’s home location.  Kinda a natural built in GPS Latitude / Longitude system.  Created “in the beginning” so the bird can use this ability to find it’s way home regardless of direction taken.

Home – Where is Home?:

Far more is buried than meets the eye!  Ancient man had to have recognized the birds instinctive love of Home / nest and it’s ability to return home time and again.  An instinctive drive to always return home.  Hence the bird acquired the name “Homing Pigeon”.

Spiritual Instincts Buried Within:

A homing pigeon knows it’s way home though it has never been away?  Did you know a homing pigeon recognizes it’s enemy even though it has never seen the enemy before?  True true true:  I am a witness.

Eyes Like a  Hawk:

One beautiful sunny day I opened the door to my loft to let the young pigeons out for the first time.  Bright sun shiny day – perfect with just a little wind!  The young birds where excited, nervous, fully alert and ready for the next adventure if Life!  Anxious to get out and take look around to the larger world.

Seldom do young birds actually take off and fly around the first time out.  It is usually just to check out the surrounding area from the roof top, happily flap, exercise and test those wings!  Enough flapping to lift themselves up off the rook but not so much that they actually begin flying.  The testing before the launch to improve the readiness level.  A little scary for them perhaps – exciting and scary all at once!

Recognizes Enemy Yet has never seen the Enemy before:

To my surprise on this bright sun shining day Mr. Hawk flew by and to my surprise panic struck the nerves of these young inexperienced birds.  Whoa – whoa there my mind raced!  Oh man – too late off the loft they went as if in a panic had set in!  Fortunately Mr. Hawk just flew by and paid not attention.  After a few panic stricken circles my young birds began the best managed crash landing they could manage.  Lord have mercy another unexpected lesson in the really real reality in the life of a pigeon / dove!

Finding ones Wat Home:

Amazing God’s design!  Recognizes it’s enemy yet has never seem them.  And the bird can find it’s way home yet has never been away from home!  Creation – a Spiritual message by design – Finding ones Way Home!  It speaks the spirit and heart of every human person.

Walking Dead:

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Funny title!!!  But so true in many ways.  To be specifically something with a title yet to be held at arms length!  Kinda like having “BO” but you don’t know it!  Yikes – I must stink!

An Encounter with the Walking Dead:

Sometimes words just get in the way!  Another funny thing we can speech even more powerfully by what we do.  Made many trips to Newnan, Georgia for example.  Yikes – traveled to the bowels of Atlanta from 1990-2000 during the HIV/AIDS crises sitting among people who thought the disease was a death sentence.  Uncomfortable is the word.  The place one can hear the voice of the soul crying out!  There I encountered people who thought they were the walking dead.

Imagine Jesus Christ the very first Walking Dead and then Jesus calling us to follow!  Yep!  He had but a single requirement – Oh man – pick up your cross and follow me!  A Dead Man – the Living Bread who told us I have life because of the Father.  Do you suppose He came so we might have New Life even when it seems clear we are held at arms length (rejected might be a better word) as though we have some sort of serious disease?

Yes He came to start a fire!  To do this he became human like us!  We can not separate Jesus from His mother Mary!  Yep a woman – no man or male could replace.

Body, Blood, Soul all part of a mixture –> the Divine Plan of Salvation.

Jesus the Lamb!  Do we know what a lamb is?  A young sheep – a prime source to be sacrificed – food for the body — oh and Jesus slaughtered / sacrificed by human with souls!  We bring our own broken nature every where we go!  Where I ask do we take this broken spirit / soul that cries out to be transformed and healed?  To who do we go?

Buried and Hidden Treasure:

Where oh where do we look to find this buried and hidden treasure?  In a cross?  In communion, unity, the Eucharistic Sacrifice!  Come to me all you who hunger and thirst!  Come to me all you who seek healing of Body, mind and soul!

Consider wax is heated until it melts!  Then and only then can it be poured as melted wax and transformed into the Body of Christ!  Yes the Church!

Discernment – wow – a word that requires transformation and understanding.  Attitude, heart, spirit, broken all necessary to enter into communion – one body!

Women – Mother Church

Everything flows through Mary, the human whose “Yes” opened the door for God to enter into human flesh.  Born to walk in this world!  The die in this world!

And Yes to become the first Dead Man Walking and Talking!

I hope and pray – have faith and trust – yes this very Jesus has lead me on a journey of the walking dead!

 

 

Fight or Flight – Stress – Lessons from the Past:

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Routine Visit – Ha!

Routine visit to the Prison today!  Haha on me!  Did I tell you my prayer regarding my visits to prison often where I discover I am more a student than a teacher.  And the normal prayer for me is this:  “What do you have in mind for me today Lord”?

Start with Prayer – Heck the Whole thing is a Prayer:

Hope I don’t disappoint!!!  Yep, I go to Mass, am entrusted  with the Eucharist and quickly on my way via my (truck) chapel where I pray all the way!  Not possible some say!!!  Have ya ever ridden in my truck with me?

Mother Church:

Yes mam!  I get to prison on time.  Oh my the main gate scanner isn’t working!  Rummage through my carry in clear see through pack is quickly completed.

Deeper and Deeper:

Walk through the next 5 locked gates and encounter two of my boys (haha on me they are inmates in for life)!!  What the heck is going on?  Met almost immediately met by the Chaplin – taken aside – not normal!  Escorted out of the room and trying to ask questions as we walk fast!  Holy Smokes – that room almost packed with inmates are – are – are – the Chaplin told me = they are ALL Lifers!  Something new I have never encountered to date.  Hmmm – you talken to me Lord?!

On to the next building – am told wait here while I check for a room!  In library I see uniformed individuals sitting across from an inmate!  Then Holy Smokes here come a bunch of lifers from the first room I passed headed straight into my space.  How do I know?  One of them is the first inmate I introduced you to last week who was the first encountered years ago when I first began.  He comes and stands right next me.

Finally I begin to get the drift of what is taking place!  Yep the Good Lord has something to remind me about today.  Now my old friend!  Yikes did I just write a lifer inmate if my old friend!  Whew – another reminder – long ago I called – er – perhaps better said “SENT” to be taught by an unseen advocate – maybe I should call this spirit my tail gate defender who covers my back!

Have I lost you yet?  My old friend tells me.  I remind you he is standing there right at my side – he informs me he is waiting to be interviewed regarding his potential parole!

Life’s Roller Coaster Ride:

Have you ever been on a roller coaster!  You know up up up the hill followed by oh my — my stomachs — am I gonna lose it’s contents as the roller coaster’s bottom falls accelerating downhill!   Do you get the drift of the intensity of the moment?  My old friend asks me to pray for him – he is sweating what words he need to use?????  The the silent “HELP” is heard!!!!!!!!!  Lord Have Mercy!     Life's a roller coaster ride! - Thoughts to wordsIntense – stress – I can’t run away – I can’t hide – I must hang tough!  What do I say???

Flash back – here we go again!  Maybe some of you have heard that the air traffic controllers job is one of the most stressful job that exists!  Some experts have said so.  I myself spent some serious time in the world’s busiest Air Traffic Facilities!  I have watched unbelievable things happen to air traffic controllers in seconds.  Don’t recall I ever told this you learn but don’t talk about!  Here it is!

Smell It?

Haha you gonna have ta wait!  Best I can do to replicate a roller coaster ride.  Recently I heard a very high level Catholic clergyman state that Jesus called his disciples to be shepherds.  Shepherd – not a word to be lightly understood!  And to be an effective shepherd, one must spend some serious very close encounter quality time among the sheep – yes – so much so that the shepherd takes on the smell of the sheep.

I sure hope this analogy works!  Did you know the body of an air traffic controller develops stress related bad breath until eventually the body adapts to the pressure cooker!  Yes I learned I know the smell of stress!  Chicago O’Hare 1970’s.  Unexpected flashback for an old man in May 2023.  Yes that is just part of what the good Lord had in mind for me today!

Summary:  Man that roller coaster ride can be gruesome as ones hopes, dreams and emotions wrap there arms around ones soul.

What do I do?  Oh What do I do? – Suffering – Preparation in Hiding:

So what does one say???  You have been preparing for this day 35 + years.  What’s most essential is your faith and trust in Jesus Christ and the Advocate!  Breathe out and then when you breathe in – suck in the Holy Spirit hidden in the cross named hurry up and wait!  You are more ready more than you know!  Have faith and trust in the spirit planted within “in the beginning” knowing no matter that no matter the outcome your standing in the exactly the right check out lane!

Then I was lead to the furthest part of the prison where I have never been before!  Waiting  alone – waiting for what?

to be continued ……..